We adopted my oldest son (now 12 years old). We met the birth mother when she was 17 and 8 months pregnant, and have had a fantastic and open relationship with her ever since. She has since gone to byu, got married, and has a small little family of her own now. She attended his baptism, comes and visits on his birthday, and plays an important role in his life.
The birth father lives in Kansas. We have sent facebook messages a couple of times a year but had never met him or spoken on the phone. In July we took a cross-country road trip. As part of our trip we contacted him to see if we could stop by and visit.
He said yes and we were anxious to meet him and wondered how my son would handle it - well, it was the highlight of my summer. When we pulled up to the house in Kansas my son’s birth father, his wife and his 3 kids greeted us so warmly. His parents, siblings and spouses, and nieces and nephews were there too. My son got to meet about 20 of his biological family members. At 12 he isn’t the most mature guy, but he recognized the gravity of the situation and while all the other children were playing he sat in the living room for 2 hours asking and answering questions, noticing traits he had inherited, and getting to know his biological family. It was beautiful to see the connection and the relationship begin with not only his birth father, but this whole family.
Since then we’ve messaged with his family almost weekly, sending pictures or clips of my son’s football/soccer highlights from this past season. The relationship will continue to grow, and I hope my son appreciates the fact that he has good and open relationships with his biological parents.
The most heartwarming part of the experience was a comment my son made - our cross country trip was an effort to getaway and enjoy some experiences during this crappy year. So we flew one way to Ft. Myers, Florida. We drove home from there, visiting a lot of places that we otherwise wouldn’t. But after many days at the beach, an everglades airboat tour, numerous state parks and adventures, I asked my son what his favorite part of the trip was and he said “meeting birth dad Nate, hands down.”
I hope that you meeting your bio dad will be the same, that it’s the highlight of your year - it’s the start of a new relationship that I hope will be special for both of you.