For a man who hates shopping this thread spoke to me

I haven’t set foot inside a store to Christmas shop in 6 or 7 years, and fortunately my wife hates shopping too. When I die and go to hell I’ll either reappear in an eternal line that goes nowhere in Disneyland (so just standard Disneyland) or in a store eternally on Black Friday.

The only shopping I will do today will be to go down to the Native American Trading Post to buy Bluebird flour.

We ran out yesterday, and I am jonesing for some homemade bread.

I ordered a HP laptop and Thunderbolt Dock from their website during their Black Friday sale. I won’t go near a store. Having it shipped to my real estate broker in Montana so I won’t pay CA sales tax. I will pick up when we are up there around Xmas.

Having a real estate broker isn’t in my tax bracket. I shop Amazon.

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I also avoid the stores on Black Friday. A couple of years ago we were in SLC for Thanksgiving and I needed a plumbing tool we didn’t have In our place. (Clogged disposal.) The only place that was open was Walmart. I never go to Walmart, but I did on that Thanksgiving night. When I arrived there it was about 5:40 p.m. and it dawned on me that at Wal-Mart Black Friday must start at 6:00 p.m. I could barely move around in there, and of course the plumbing section was in the far corner of the store.

It took me 20 minutes to work through all the crowded humanity between me and that section. Once I grabbed the tool I needed and began working my way back to the checkout area in the store’s other corner, I realized that at that moment (6:00 p.m.) the store employees were cutting open the plastic wrapped around multiple giant piles of boxes containing everything from TVs to baby strollers. Hordes of people were positioning themselves and jostling (politely, I’ll add) to get the boxes they wanted. I had never experienced anything like it.

Still, I wasn’t angry or worried, just fascinated and kind of laughing at myself for not realizing what I had unwittingly walked into. I got to the checkstand with my $5 item and got out of there as quickly as I could. I’ll never do that again.