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    Ute King
    Profile | Posts | Pics | Friends

    My Posts

    For all users. This page is automatically generated and contains the most recent and best work on the message board.

    Post Statistics:

    * Note: Current rankings are based on activity in the last calendar year.

    Recent Topics:

    Look out, the Zoobs are gaming another online poll...

    by Ute King
    2014-06-09 16:53:29

    Provo advances to final 2 in 'best place to live' contest

    >> View Responses


    There is no other answer than Raptors.

    by Ute King
    2013-11-12 13:21:14



    It's pretty much a T-Rex with real arms. How badass is that?

    >> View Responses


    I'm gonna take one more whack at the dead horse that is the Spencer Hadley story, simply because of this...

    by Ute King
    2013-10-11 14:51:26

    Honor code inequalities

    Now, back to your regularly scheduled programming.

    >> View Responses


    In one of the greatest Utefan.net ironies of all time...

    by Ute King
    2013-05-28 17:31:25

    ...longtime (he'll tell you) Utefans.net poster New York pokes out of whatever hole he came from to whine about someone making fun of his son. Yet, he had this to say about one of our "lesser" longtime members' sons:

    From: New York
    Date: Jun 18, 2011 05:45 PM

    Subject: RE: The Tank keeps growning, he's 3 years old now and is 40 inches 42 lbs. I can't feed this kid enough, he's in the 95% on both is height and weight

    Great! Good luck with your bragging about blimp. I cannot wait to see him on the defensive line. Don't let him flabbify! Yawn...I could not help it! Really...do you think people care about your kid being huge? THERE ARE many MORE THINGS IN THIS WORLD. I hope hr brcomes amazing and gifted. That is great for you and I am happy. Do not count on anyone waiting for your "Yawn" pronouncements. Seriously...get a life!

    Then he followed it up by commenting on how apparently some female Utefans.net members (not sure how longtime) looked like linebackers and needed to lose weight.

    2 years ago, I asked New York to post a picture of his studly self here on Utefans so that we could judge and mock him in the same way he so shamelessly mocked others. Unsurprisingly, he hasn't. Instead, he pops up from his hole to proclaim what a great Ute fan he is because he graduated here and blah blah fucking bullshit I don't care.

    Show your face and your lithe body, New York. Until then, you're a 400-pound fat fuck who likes to pick on small children from behind the safety of a computer screen - Making you disgustingly obese, yet pathetically tiny at the same time.

    >> View Responses


    So we've got the pelvic thrusts warmed up and ready. Who's got the orange soda?

    by Ute King
    2013-03-14 09:42:17

    All hail the mighty Hooplor!

    Go Utes!

    >> View Responses


    So we hire a new OC and the Pope resigns on the same day. Suspicious...

    by Ute King
    2013-02-11 10:37:21

    Has anyone seen Dennis Erickson and the Pope in the same room?

    I'm just sayin'...

    >> View Responses


    You know with all the midget talk, I'd like to point out that the infamous Hellvan is participating in the same contest, yet gets no love. What gives?

    by Ute King
    2013-01-04 14:38:02

    At least I know how to spell loiter.

    Vote early, vote often. Hellvan-tastic.

    And in case you never heard the full story, check it.

    >> View Responses


    Got a buddy in Denver who's a big Bronco fan. He wrote this about the "Gator Offense" ...

    by Ute King
    2012-01-16 14:14:57

    ill-belichick%E2%80%99s-gator-offense-was -the-john-fox%E2%80%99s-best-option&Itemid =1" target="_blank" class="red">Talks a little about Urban Meyer and Mike McCoy. Interesting read.

    >> View Responses


    I suppose it's about time that I post this.

    by Ute King
    2012-01-13 10:53:25


    >> View Responses


    Anyone know of a reasonably-priced Whirlpool service person in SLC?

    by Ute King
    2011-10-07 15:49:30

    I just got quoted $129 to replace the light bulb in a microwave oven. If there was an obvious way to do it and not a warning about extreme electrical shock danger in the owner's manual, I'd just do it myself.

    $129. For a light bulb. They just don't build them like they used to. Thank God for that.

    >> View Responses


    Is it me, or is this whole practice of placing some descriptor in front of "zoob" to define an opposing fan base getting old?

    by Ute King
    2011-10-05 10:47:08

    Not every fanbase is zoobish - I think we can restrict that definition down to a couple of select few.

    But it seems to me, this over-use of "zoob" to define other schools is a bit...


    >> View Responses


    Actually, I think I have the best wife in the world...

    by Ute King
    2011-09-23 09:08:11

    I've been salivating at the chance to go to the Pittsburgh game - not just because it's a new destination and a Ute game, but for the chance to see Frank Lloyd Wright's Fallingwater.

    Yes, I'm an architecture geek.

    Well, I had things mostly planned out last winter, but circumstances have changed and my lovely wife won't be able to come with me. I told her that it wasn't going to work out and the budget was a bit thin anyway - I just wouldn't go, but she insisted I do.

    So this last weekend, I got together with my architecture geek/Ute fan buddy to finalize plane tickets and a car rental. We have a free hotel room to stay in so that's taken care of. That's when my wife told me she was going to use her frequent flyer miles (which she's been accumulating for years) to buy my ticket.

    So I've got a basically free trip to Pittsburgh to geek out and see the Utes. My wife rules.

    I got the luxury class car rental.

    >> View Responses


    I know ABQ is a whipping boy for all of us former visitors to that fine city...

    by Ute King
    2011-08-26 09:20:14

    But honestly, why doesn't UNM get any juice for a potential Big 12 spot? Seems like a pretty natural fit to me. It's a decent school with an above-average basketball program to point to.

    Any thoughts?

    >> View Responses


    Speaking of flags - does anyone know of a place I could take mine to get the mildew spots cleaned out of it?

    by Ute King
    2011-08-25 10:55:00

    >> View Responses


    Boy, I hope one of these opens here soon, so I don't have to be a fat Utahn anymore....

    by Ute King
    2011-06-30 12:06:33

    >> View Responses


    Come on people. We've lost focus! Forget who's hot, let's remember who's FAT!

    by Ute King
    2011-06-29 08:58:47

    It's now been 53 days since our favorite Internet Tough Guy from the great city of New York informed us how damn fat we all are. Since it's easy to judge people from thousands of miles away (supposedly) and claim that you are doing it for our own good (supposedly), then send private messages to a board member regarding the corpulence of their 3-year old, then it should be really easy to post a verifiable picture of yourself for the rest of us to judge.

    What say you, New York? Is this the day you man up and do it? Or does our long national nightmare continue?

    >> View Responses


    It's been 42 days since Utefans poster New York declared FATwa on this board. Now he steps up his game to attack small children...

    by Ute King
    2011-06-18 15:12:27

    The question remains, New York, when will you be man enough to step up and post a verifiable picture of yourself so we can all judge YOU. To talk shit on a kid is about the lowest thing I've seen on this board.

    SO - when are you going to sack up and post your picture?

    Or do we just have to assume that you're a 5'3", 450 pound sloth that lives in his mom's basement? Because if you don't post a picture, that's what I'm going to do.

    >> View Responses


    I believe this book was a best seller in Provo...

    by Ute King
    2011-06-09 10:28:21

    >> View Responses


    I know it's no longer RnR Thursday, but I just had to share this...

    by Ute King
    2011-06-03 07:22:36

    It's exactly what I would do if I were in a band and had $5k to spend on a video.

    Some lyrics may not be work-friendly. Enjoy...


    >> View Responses


    Any architecture/Frank Lloyd Wright nerds going to the Pitt game in October? Send me a boardmail...

    by Ute King
    2011-05-25 16:25:16

    You probably know this already, but there's a few cool FLW sites nearby.

    Get in touch if you're interested in checking out some sites.

    >> View Responses


    You eediots do realize that you now have less than 24 hours to prepare...

    by Ute King
    2011-05-12 12:40:33


    I hope you've at least begun to prepare yourself mentally for the epic smackdown you will face under the scorching hot sun of the Sandy Parkway TOMORROW AT 12:30! There is, of course, no way to physically prepare yourself for it. Except by providing your own damn lunch because I will not be dispensing PB&Js - only pain.


    >> View Responses


    Come receive your whippin' at Bocce Beatdown DUE! Friday, 12:30 PM...

    by Ute King
    2011-05-11 13:52:17

    Sandy Parkway (10000 South at Centennial Pkwy between Target and I-15)

    I will be happy to beat you senseless on the bocce field and punch you in the throat, but I will not provide your lunch or beverage, you drunken Utah buffoon.

    Be there.

    >> View Responses


    Bocce Beatdown Part DUE! Sandy Parkway, directly south of the Sandy City Hall, 12:30 PM Friday...

    by Ute King
    2011-05-09 14:39:33

    Be there to receive your comeuppance. Bring your best game and a sack lunch because I will only be handing out beatings, not sandwiches.

    >> View Responses


    I can't believe you imbiciles are discussing coaching choices when a bocce beatdown looms over all of you. Sandy Parkway, 12:30 PM tomorrow. Be there or face Sfork's wrath.

    by Ute King
    2011-03-31 16:53:50

    >> View Responses


    I will be in the grassy parkway in front of Sandy City Hall tomorrow at 12:30 PM sharp with a bocce set and a bad attitude. If you'd like to debate Sunday play or get your ass beat down in a no-holds barred bocce match, be there...

    by Ute King
    2011-03-31 13:55:55

    I will lay the bocce smack down upon you, but I won't provide a sack lunch. Bring yer own.

    >> View Responses


    The revenge of Tossed Salad? My zoob-loving boss informs me that someone was passing out "Jimmer Hats" at the game last night.

    by Ute King
    2011-01-27 11:50:27

    Really? One of two things is going on here - (1) there is an insider with a wicked sense of humor, or; (2) they really are that clueless.

    >> View Responses


    The Zoob that wrote that Brandon Doman Wikipedia article missed some golden opportunities to point out The Domanator's awesomeness.

    by Ute King
    2011-01-10 15:38:05

    Like the fact that The Domanator played for three different teams during 2002. That's awesome! Most good players only play on one team during a given calendar year. AND, The Domanator played for the San Francisco 49ers not once, but TWICE. That must mean he's twice as good as Joe Montana.

    I'm guessing these awesome stats are due to his blistering .640% completion percentage. But hey, not everyone can miss 155 out of every 156 pass attempts.

    >> View Responses


    One question for the thousands of lawyers on the board and one question for the 50 other people...

    by Ute King
    2010-12-30 08:37:09

    For the lawyers: If someone were to crash into you while driving like a complete douchecanoe in a snowstorm, would you be able to sue them for negligence? What would be the standard? A citation? What testimony would be needed? Okay, so that's more than one question. Sue me.

    For the rest of us: If there was the threat of getting your pants sued off, would you all (present company excepted of course) STOP DRIVING LIKE COMPLETE F&*^$)(&(*$#*(%^*)$%^$%#%#^$ING MORONS?

    >> View Responses


    Hey North Redzoners or anyone who was told that they weren't allow to hang anything on a rail yesterday, boardmail me if you're interested in your name being included in an email to Chris Hill regarding these issues...

    by Ute King
    2010-11-07 14:11:24

    I'm going to include some comments I've heard here with regards to different "crowd control" rules from game to game along with some questions on how it's gotten so bad to get in to the stadium (it took us 45 minutes to walk from the Guardsman Lot before we got to our seats).

    Boardmail me your email address and full name if you're interested and I'll send out a draft to review if you want your name on it.

    >> View Responses


    I still owe Ross Evans a dollar...

    by Ute King
    2010-11-05 16:55:40

    I yelled to him I would give him a dollar if he hit the upright again as he finished up his halftime warmup. I looked for him on the field after the game, but he didn't want to collect. Too bad.

    >> View Responses


    Top 10 Most Recently Posted Messages:

    What the hell are you talking about?
    (1 day ago, 2 stars)

    That is a perfect analogy.
    (6 days ago, 1 stars)

    10 days after 22 people are shot and killed at a Walmart, and that's your take?
    (9 days ago, 2 stars)

    If you're lucky, I'll send him over to pinch your butt in the tailgate lot.
    (9 days ago, 1 stars)

    It's already been broughten.
    (9 days ago, 1 stars)

    He can feel free to try me.
    (9 days ago, 0 stars)

    My daughter will be at grandma's house. In other words, you're old.
    (9 days ago, 1 stars)

    Gouda on a soda cracker? Like I said, degenerates.
    (9 days ago, 0 stars)

    Fortunately, I'm fully vaccinated.
    (9 days ago, 0 stars)

    Just to let you degenerates know, I'll be in the NEZ on October 26 if anyone is up for fisticuffs.
    (10 days ago, 4 stars)

    I read that subject as, "In honor of Loyter's 82nd birthday..."
    (1576 days ago, 5 stars)

    Having worked for municipal governments for a while now, I can about guarantee that a neighbor complained. No City goes out and looks for that.
    (1599 days ago, 5 stars)

    2004. I'm pretty sure I got either the first or second set of them...
    (1765 days ago, 0 stars)

    (1795 days ago, 0 stars)

    If the yellow coats in the NEZ really wanted to crack down on alcohol...
    (1827 days ago, 5 stars)

    If you can't identify the Whore of Babylon at the table, then maybe it's you.
    (1828 days ago, 22 stars)

    6 inch defense?
    (1829 days ago, 2 stars)

    So what you're saying is, this man tried to do suicide by cop...
    (1830 days ago, 7 stars)

    Honestly? No, I haven't. I know that I will find it boring...
    (1830 days ago, 5 stars)

    Value? I can take a nap for free.
    (1830 days ago, 25 stars)

    (1834 days ago, 0 stars)

    No wonder it's boring... they're playing soccer in it!
    (1841 days ago, 10 stars)

    Do they have a 500-level class at USC to come up with stupid nicknames for every university out there?
    (1841 days ago, 3 stars)

    RE: Scott Mitchell going to be on the biggest loser. Best of luck to him, weight loss is a bitch.
    (1842 days ago, 0 stars)

    Will attract hipsters though. May be no net benefit.
    (1842 days ago, 9 stars)

    Didn't do the countries one, but I got 18/20 of the Utah cities. Better than 96% of you yokels.
    (1848 days ago, 0 stars)

    Get a Mac. /obligatory - but really, for that price, get a Mac.
    (1864 days ago, 0 stars)

    Was the interlocking logo in black? You know, because everything was black and white in the olden days?
    (1864 days ago, 3 stars)

    New York? You been drinking again?
    (1869 days ago, 2 stars)

    Nice Falcon. Too bad it's not a ute.
    (1882 days ago, 0 stars)

    The Palouse = Hazzard County
    (1885 days ago, 2 stars)

    #%!@ that noise. We could have beat you in 2004. USC was lucky to dodge us.
    (1896 days ago, 5 stars)

    It goes much deeper than liquor Moose and you know that.
    (1897 days ago, 5 stars)

    Nah, you never need a turn signal when you're always in the left lane.
    (1897 days ago, 0 stars)

    So many nuggets in that piece, but this one is my favorite...
    (1898 days ago, 10 stars)

    I didn't sell out son, I bought in. Remember that.
    (1899 days ago, 4 stars)

    Look out, the Zoobs are gaming another online poll...
    (1900 days ago, 2 stars)

    The sticker is in the wrong place.
    (1904 days ago, 0 stars)

    They all "lost" their helmets at some point?
    (1905 days ago, 18 stars)

    Alright alright alright.
    (1906 days ago, 2 stars)

    RE: What I want for a Utah schedule:
    (1912 days ago, 6 stars)

    He would have been the Number 1 pick if he'd come from a two-parent household.
    (1912 days ago, 2 stars)

    RE: "exhaggerating" Is that when you hate your former spouse and think she is a witch?
    (1917 days ago, 4 stars)

    I can't believe no one commented on where to get those awesome shades.
    (1918 days ago, 1 stars)

    I would recommend you do some research on BYU's academics. Go beyond the accounting degrees and look at arts and sciences and things that may disagree with a certain world view.
    (1924 days ago, 8 stars)

    Bring out the best!
    (1935 days ago, 2 stars)

    Go Viks!
    (1938 days ago, 1 stars)

    Bagpipers (not the BYU kind) or drumline.
    (1938 days ago, 2 stars)

    NO! We must have everything look like Soviet Russia. Color and art and beautiful things have no place in modern society.
    (1939 days ago, 8 stars)

    No. I'm talking literally about a random 3rd down.
    (1945 days ago, 2 stars)

    How do I know we matched up well with Stanford? We beat them.
    (1945 days ago, 8 stars)

    Here's a thought. Let's all just use less.
    (1949 days ago, 3 stars)

    RE: Major Study Finds that the US is an Oligarchy -2014
    (1953 days ago, 10 stars)

    Get off my lawn!!
    (1954 days ago, 1 stars)

    Come on now. Don't let a little truth get in the way of a talking point. Rush Limbaugh said so!
    (1955 days ago, 1 stars)

    Like your post, the State Dinosaur of Utah is pretty lame...
    (1960 days ago, 1 stars)

    That's cute. I remember when I had my first beer.
    (1960 days ago, 2 stars)

    "It's hard to identify a weak spot..."
    (1960 days ago, 6 stars)

    "...which they used to disembowel their prey..."
    (1960 days ago, 5 stars)

    The only choice.
    (1960 days ago, 6 stars)

    Ironic that you picked a guy from New York to illustrate your fatness.
    (1961 days ago, 10 stars)

    Honestly, why does anyone listen to any sports or talk radio? All they are doing is trying to stir the pot to get people pissed off, and therefore, call in or discuss it on the internet - thereby generating higher ratings.
    (1961 days ago, 9 stars)

    RE: Wow, didn't realize Portland State plays games in the equivalent of a SL County rec center.
    (1984 days ago, 2 stars)

    You would assume with that many points, that the Utes didn't miss many shots, while the opposition did... you could see how we would get out-rebounded just from the offensive differential... just sayin'
    (1996 days ago, 7 stars)

    I raise your pffft with a pish posh...
    (1996 days ago, 0 stars)

    Best of all, we are raising a generation of obese kids that will be functionally blind by the time they graduate high school.
    (1996 days ago, 0 stars)

    Interesting that they charged the 17 year old accomplice in the shooting death of an officer recently...
    (2001 days ago, 12 stars)

    (2003 days ago, 0 stars)

    Lame is plural of lame.
    (2003 days ago, 4 stars)

    Show me the category entitled "bitching about possible mascot names that are nowhere as cool as Raptors," and I'll put it there.
    (2003 days ago, 10 stars)

    You're a big dummy.
    (2003 days ago, -1 stars)

    A singular word should never, EVER be used as a sports mascot. It is stupid, period. Moose is out.
    (2003 days ago, -3 stars)

    That's sexist.
    (2005 days ago, 3 stars)

    Wait, wait, wait. That actually exists?!?
    (2005 days ago, 4 stars)

    Interesting that you point out Hillary - she figured prominently on Pangloss' list... oh, wait. No she didn't.
    (2008 days ago, 8 stars)

    Looked like at least a couple of people in the front row were getting a signal last night.
    (2009 days ago, 0 stars)

    Decor might cause her and her children to think of the outside world. Couldn't have that. All beige, all the time.
    (2010 days ago, 6 stars)

    Too soon.
    (2017 days ago, 2 stars)

    Again, many choose to skip over the words, "WELL REGULATED."
    (2025 days ago, 2 stars)

    Nine days until pitchers and catchers report to Spring Training.
    (2026 days ago, 2 stars)

    Can the logo be a Block U and sickle? I want it to look as Communist as possible just to tweak these idiots.
    (2029 days ago, 7 stars)

    So if my child dies because of some bad food, I should just sue the maker and that will solve everything?
    (2029 days ago, 5 stars)

    Interesting to see the Chiefs' cupcake schedule that people were complaining about earlier in the season.
    (2061 days ago, 0 stars)

    Get a Mac.
    (2061 days ago, 3 stars)

    Did they steal their logo off the hood of a Pontiac?
    (2064 days ago, 3 stars)

    WHAT? A fad diet that is later proven to not be effective?!? Hogwash! Balderdash! IMPOSSIBLE!
    (2080 days ago, 6 stars)

    Charlie Monfort.
    (2094 days ago, 1 stars)

    Just think if Sean Smith was still on the Dolphins. He still wouldn't be in that photo.
    (2096 days ago, 5 stars)

    Since the kid is dead, I guess we'll never know.
    (2102 days ago, 3 stars)

    From an anonymous poster who can't even spell the dude's name correctly. SMH.
    (2106 days ago, 2 stars)

    I'm pretty sure those are just 30x32 jeans.
    (2107 days ago, 8 stars)

    Stay at Machu Pichu. It's cheap - that place is a ruin.
    (2109 days ago, 7 stars)

    The Utah Raptors. Not redundant at all. And plural. No sports team should ever have a non-plural name. EVER.
    (2109 days ago, 2 stars)

    There is no other answer than Raptors.
    (2109 days ago, 9 stars)

    No women. There's a shocker.
    (2120 days ago, 5 stars)

    I wonder if he gets the PAC12 Network on his 1000 inch television.
    (2124 days ago, 8 stars)

    That's cute. I remember when I had my first beer.
    (2130 days ago, 37 stars)

    I think there's a better way to say that...
    (2131 days ago, 2 stars)

    The NEZ was pretty disciplined in the noise department there. Any issue should be directed to the Jumbotron operator who put up the stand up and make noise graphics.
    (2136 days ago, 2 stars)

    So bad that you were scared to even show up...
    (2141 days ago, 0 stars)

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