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    Utefans.Net Dictionary

    Symbol indicating that No Message has been included in the posting.
    8-Cow Quarterback, The
    n. Alternate nickname for QB Brett Elliott. See Mahana Elliott for explanation.
    (1) n. The best performance a team can give, and not surprisingly a performance that most teams are unable to produce in the face of the Defensive ass-whooping usually handed them by the game-preparation tactics of Utah coaches like Majerus and Whittingham. (2) n. A silly slogan worn on USU student body t-shirts to their home basketball teams. Used by USU coeds to flirt with travelling U fans.
    n. All-American.
    n. Nickname of Ute All-American gymnast Annabeth Eberle
    n. Air Flop Acting Company -- a nickname assigned to the cadets because of their finely tuned tendency to flail their arms in dramatic fashion and fall backwards in a self-propelled slide and thus drawing the whistle of idiotic MWC basketball referees. Truly talented cadets can flop without even being touched.
    Ally McBigelow
    n. A nickname for BYU basketball player Mark Bigelow, because he's tall, skinny, blonde, and quite possibly the twin brother of Ally McBeal.
    acronym. Active LDS Ute Fan; popularized on Cougarboard. ALUF is an extremely condescending term in itself. The fact that zoobs actually use an acronym to describe a person that is part of their faith but cheers for another team is unbelievable. It's an indisputable form of self-righteousness. They actually look down on LDS Ute fans because of their allegiance to a sports team. ALUFs are lesser members of their faith, because they cheer against "God's University". Is there a more condescending and arrogant mindset?
    Anti-Monson, The
    n. Salt Lake Tribune sports columnist Michael C. Lewis, who tends to be openminded, objective, not a Majerus-hater, and willing to consider viewpoints that directly contradict those of Gordon Monson and the rest of the Tribune staff.
    n. nickname given to Andrew Bogut, which stands for Aussie Trained Maniac and also reflects that he is money each and every game.
    n. Nickname for Utah basketball player Bryant Markson.
    n. Urban Meyer's nickname for Alex Smith, because he gets better and faster every game.
    acronym. Bowl Championship Series. What happens when corrupt conference commissioners, school presidents and coaches get together and decide to let mathletes determine the outcome of an athletic event.
    Bear Spray
    n. An “inside joke” for members of Utefans.net. It refers to any act of intentional abuse directed toward fans of an opposing team (especially those of rival BYU). The joke was born several years ago when a BYU fan came over to the message board to complain about how rudely he was treated at Rice-Eccles Stadium, and how boorish and drunk some fans were. (BYU fans often tend to buy into the stereotype that Ute fans are nothing but “a bunch of drunks.”) The outrage he expressed was so strong that many Ute fans pressed him for details about the incident. As a result, he revealed that the worst offense committed against him was that some sprinkles of beer landed on him. After that, joking references to “beer sprinkles” began to appear on the message board. Sometime later another BYU fan posted a message referring to that or another incidence of beer spray and misspelled beer as bear. Thus references to “bear spray” quickly caught on, and are now used frequently when addressing potential poor treatment visiting fans (or teams) can expect when they come to the game.
    Beer Ninja
    A stealthy, mysterious person who hides within the confines of Rice-Eccles Stadium. Rarely if ever seen, the Beer Ninja is responsible for many of the "bear spray" events that BYU fans constantly complain of during their time at RES. When not pouring beer on wholesome Zoob women and children, he has been known to push old, wheelchair bound ladies down the stairs, punch babies and physically harass the families of BYU athletes.
    Big Al
    n. Nickname for former Utah All-Defense basketball player Alex Jensen.
    1 - n. Initials of former Utah All-Conference basketball player Britton Johnsen. :

    2 - n. Initials of former Utah quarterback Brian Johnson.
    Blimp on the radar
    n. Not a reference to the girth of Rick Majerus, but a zoobie malaprop for "blip on the radar", that has been posted to Utefans.net numerous times; paraphrasing, "BYU has tremendous national following while the Utah athletic program is not even on blimp on the radar."
    Board elite
    An unidentified group of posters who supposedly dominate the board and act like the stuck-up rich kids you went to high school with.
    Bob Rice's Grandson
    n. Nickname given to former Utah QB Lance Rice, because he is Bob Rice's grandson. Bob Rice is the man for whom the "Rice" in Rice-Eccles Stadium is named, because he gave a humongous donation to the U once upon a time, and some Ute fans suspected that Lance was named the starting QB because of said donation.
    n. Nickname for Andrew Bogut.
    Born Again Mormon
    n. when a mormon starts to cheer for the U and not the Y... after he have finally seen the light.
    n. Nickname given to Utah basketball player Nick Jacobson, because his shot is smooth as butter.
    n. Brigham Young University -- A school which is owned by the LDS church and prides itself on its high admission standards, labeling itself the "Harvard of the West." What it fails to report is that it has been sanctioned by the American Association of University Professors for lack of academic freedom, and that it performs little or no research, and that its Education program has lost its accreditation for a period for refusing to conduct a diversity survey. BYU has little tolerance for freedom of thought and expression, or common human frailties among kids it has pursuaded to travel from difficult circumstances to bring it glory. And on top of that, its fans are whiney, cheese-eating pinheads. Well, at least some of them are.
    n. a person who has defeated all opponents in a competition or series of competitions. see: 2008 Utah Utes
    Cirque du Crouton
    n. The football program run by Gary Genius at BYU can only be likened unto a circus.
    Collie Paradox
    If he is living right on and off the field, then he will win awards, like maybe Rookie of the Year. However, if he is living right on the field, he can't be living right off the field. Because living right on the field means he is breaking the Sabbath, so he is living wrong off the field. If he is living right off the field, then he isn't on the field at all, and thus can't be living right on the field.
    1) n. Seasoned dry bread used to garnish a salad; 2) n. Unseasoned dry offensive madman, who runs that crazy ship known to the world as BYU Football; see also Gary Genius.
    v. The act of artificially enlarging a numeric value, such as a football score. Named in honor of BYU coach Gary "Genius" Crowton a.k.a. Crouton, who, during his first year of coaching at the Zoo, loved to run-up the score on opponents that he had already mercilessly beaten into the ground. Example: I will try to slim the large ColoUte margin in the archive, despite his attempts to Croutonize the score.
    Dick Harmonize
    v. To write in a style so sappy it would be a great stand-in for ipecac; Named for Deseret News columnist, BYU apologist, and amateur recruit stalker Dick Harmon; characterized by "inside information" - found to be 50% fact and 50% wishful thinking.
    Distributive Property of Sports, The
    n. - A term coined by David Locke (sports radio personality - currently working in Portland) to describe a method for comparing teams that do not play each other. It is loosely based upon the distributive property in mathematics, which states... a(b+c) = (ab)+(ac). In sports, it is used as follows... TEAM A defeats TEAM B - TEAM B defeats TEAM C - therefore, even though TEAM A does not play TEAM C, we can assume TEAM A would defeat TEAM C. While this looks valid on paper, it often proves incorrect in the real world when TEAM A actually plays TEAM C. Despite this shortcoming, people often use the distributive property when ranking teams in the polls or arguing about "strength of schedule."
    n. The shutting out of your bitter rival on their own field.
    n. Nickname for former Utah All-American basketball player Andre Miller.
    Drisdom Corollary
    Any given player recruited by Utah will play a certain portion of his career to moderate levels of success. If said player fails to live up to comparisons to former All-Americans then many fans, particularly a loud minority on this board, will turn on them and blame them for everything from lost basketball games to the existence of Haliburton.
    n. Nickname for Utah basketball player Timothy Drisdom.
    Deepest Shade Of Royal Blue -- the new and improved color of BYU athletics.
    Efficiency Rating
    n. A statistic tracked by the NBA beginning in 2002 to find the most EFFECIENT player. It doesn't credit those who score a lot by taking too many shots, i.e Allen Iverson. It credits those who are well rounded and efficient. ADD Points, Rebounds, Assists, Steals, Blocks, Shots Made and Free Throws Made. SUBTRACT Turnovers, Shots Missed and Free Throws Missed. The formula: ((Pt+Rb+As+St+Bk)-((FGA-FGM)+(FTA-FTM)+TO )))/ GAMES
    n. The formal title given to LDS men after they receive the priesthood. Usually, in the sports world, when a player is called Elder So-and-so, it is indicative that he has returned from an LDS mission. You won't typically find BYU calling their freshmen Elders.
    Elder 8 Mile
    n. A nickname for former BYU basketball player and returned missionary Travis Hansen, because he looks so damned much like the actor/rapper/rapwriter Eminem in his pseudo-biographical movie "8 Mile," right down to the tattoo he got while on his mission.
    n. A term for the Utes, used by those sheep-obsessive Aggie fans in Logan. (Click Here for more information.)
    Pronounced: Flab-uh-lanch (n) The rushing sound and shaking of the earth near a Hogi Yogi during an ice cream sale.
    Flag Hale
    n. Nickname for former BYU athletic director Val Hale, because after the "incident" in the Utah-BYU game of 1999 in which a Zoobie ran onto the field and attacked a Utah cheerleader waving one of the giant red U flags, and then had his face pounded by said cheerleader, Val proclaimed that flags would no longer be allowed to fly at Cougar Stadium ever again, because they are "inciting" to fans. Val also believes that BYU is a candidate for winning the NC every year, so that should tell you where his brain is.
    n. A term of endearment for former Utah basketball player Tim Frost, because his shaggy hair and furry feet make thim the world's largest Hobbit; also known as "Frodo the Giant Hobbit" and "The World's Largest Fraggle."
    acronym. FTFO means "Fight the Fuck On." It's a play off the USC Trojan phrase "Fight On," but gives it more of a kick (even though Trojans always go hard, it's just assumed they all Fight the Fuck On.)

    Source: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php ?term=ftfo
    Former Ute Coach Urban Meyer.
    For What It's Worth
    n. Fine Young Men -- What BYU coach Steve Cleveland calls his basketball players.
    Gary Genius
    n. Nickname given to BYU football coach Cary Crowton, because after the stellar 2002 season (pre-Hawaiian Death Turf Debacle), Zoobie trolls invaded Utefans.Net and proclaimed that Gary is the best offensive mind in the sports industry today. Unfortunately for the cougar fans, follow-up performances by The Genius have left a lot to be desired.
    Goatnapper's theorem
    n. The number and proportion of dickheads among a team's fans rises in proportion to the team's won-lost record. Stated differently, the number of dick heads is the square root of the teams winning percentage multiplied by the number of NCAA wins.
    Graduate Programs
    n. Something stressed by many academic institutions (BYU not being one of them).
    Happy Valley
    n. Nickname given to Utah County, Utah, because its residents generally have the myopic mindset that their world is perfect, the grass is green, everyone goes to church, and peace and harmony fill the air ... as long as BYU keeps winning and as long as those heathens from the north (and migrants from California) don't move in and spoil things.
    Hawaiian Death Turf
    n. Nickname given to the artificial turf that covers the field at the University of Hawaii. The deadly nature of the turf comes from the 2002 season at a time when the Team from Down South was flying high and knocking on the BCS door, threatening law suits if they didn't get in. Unfortunately for the Coogs, they were pummelled 72-45 by Hawaii putting an abrupt end to their BCS hopes, and marking the beginning of the end of the Gary Crowton era.
    v. The crying sound Zoobie co-eds make when dumped. For example. “So me an Bob Christiansen was talkin’ the other day, and he told me about him dumpin’ this girl Christine. He’s tellin’ me that this Hippocryte all night long cuz she waited for him and everythin.” For the slow among us, he was telling how that hippo cried all night long for being dumped. Get it?
    n. Word used to describe whiney graduates of TDS.
    Example of whining: “You are like so rude for calling me hypocrite, you’re so the one living in sin, cuz your like drinkin’ n’ smokin’ n’ kissin’ n’ doin’ all that stuff. You are so going to Hades.”
    acronym. If I Remember Correctly
    ileegal punch beehinds
    n. A heinous tactic used by cheating defenders to make zoobie ballcarriers fumble the ball multiple times in a game. It occurs when the defender "ileegally" punches at the football from "beehind." TDS's "all universe" receiver Todd Watkins fumbled a potential game winning scoring drive away because the UNLV defender gave him an ileegal punch beehind. Origin: the Cougarbard.
    acronym. Internet abbreviation for In My Opinion (IMHO adds a Humble to the previous definition)
    n. John M. Huntsman Center -- the arena where the Utes play basketball and gymnastics, named for philanthropist and chemist John Huntsman after he gave a humongous donation to the school.
    King Louie
    Four-year starter and 2008 first-team All American Louie Sakoda.
    n. Nickname for former Utah All-American gymnast Theresa Kulikowski, because her name is way too difficult to remember, much less type.
    n. Initials of former Utah All-American basketball player and all-time leading scorer Keith Van Horn.
    n. The initials of Utah Football Head Coach Kyle Whittingham, who as Defensive Coordinator, masterminded 10-straight quarters of shutout football to close out the 2003 season.
    Lady Remington
    n. Nickname for former BYU RB Luke Staley, because he was famous for shaving his legs in order to make them silky smooth and more difficult to latch onto by defenders.
    n. Lavell Edwards Stadium -- the football stadium where BYU (the arch-rival of the Utes) plays home games. It was named after their legendary coach, Lavell Edwards, at his retirement.
    (fiction) n. Liberal Media Bias
    acronym. v. Laughing out loud
    v. "loose," to the Zoobs, means the opposite of WIN. Heck, they "loose" so often, one would think they would know how to spell it.
    n. A visitor to the board who doesn't post messages.
    1) acronym. A slogan developed by former Utah football coach Ron McBride that was supposed to stand for everything he expected in his team: Mental toughness, Aggressiveness, Fanatical effort, and Unity. 2) n. Nickname given to Ron McBride after he started wearing a hat that had "MAFU" printed on it, and also because it's easier to type than "Ron McBride."
    Mahana Elliott
    n. Nickname given to Utah QB Brett Elliott, because MAFU was too stupid to see that he was the best QB on the team. (Reference of Mahana comes from the LDS movie "Johny Lingo", where Johnny picked Mahana for his bride after noticing her true beauty, and then payed an unheard of 8 cows for her.) Mahana Elliott is a.k.a. the 8-Cow Quarterback, because and if he's worth one cow, he's certainly worth eight of them.
    Man Law #1
    No man shall mention the hallowed name of a Ute gymnast without posting a photo of said angelic gymnast. If you don't, it probably means you're a girl.
    n. A BYU fan that acts like a jerk; usage: "If a BYU fan wants to be respected on this board, he/she should not be a Maxhole."
    n. acronym; "Madrassa in Provo", in reference to the restrictive religious school.
    n. acronym; Mid-Major Down South. (See also TDS).
    acronym. n. Mythical National Championship; nickname assigned to BYU's 1984 national championship, which they won by padding their schedule with patsies, then Croutonizing them.
    MUSS, The
    n. A confused conflict or state of disorder - Merriam-Webster's 10th Edition

    -- Quote: “No other gang of college men dare meet us in the muss…” – 2nd Stanza of the Ute fight song “Utah Man.”

    Today The Muss is the name for the Student Fan Club. It was founded by the Student Alumni Association in the spring of 2002 in response to lagging student attendance at games. Since the MUSS was organized, student attendance has shown a dramatic increase. It is also a tradition (started by football coach Urban Meyer) for the players to gather in front of the MUSS following home games to sing Utah Man.

    An old websters dictionary defines a muss as "a game in which players scramble for small objects thrown to the ground." Five or six players on each team enter a circle scratched in the dirt with a stick. A beanbag or anything else is dropped in the circle and it is a mad scramble to see which team gets it. It gets extremely rough and was more like a no-holds-barred brawl. Imagine if you will back in the teens, the twenties, and the thirties a gang of 'U' men standing in their scratched out circle waiting for the visitors from say Wyoming, Logan or Provo to accept the challenge.
    n. Mountain West Conference -- the conference to which Utah belonged and was a charter member prior to the arrival of Uncle Larry and his Pacmas gifts.
    acronym. n. National Championship
    New York Cowboys of Liberty
    The favorite team of the Filipino version of Mrs. Mphfunk, which she wanted to watch on The Mtn as picked up by the Dish Network. (More info.)
    Next Marshall Faulk, The
    n. nickname for BYU RB Reynoldo Brathwaite, who, after 2 above average performances, was proclaimed by Cougar Nation as the second coming of the former SDSU standout.
    n. Nattering Nabob Of Negativism; a poster who sees the dark side of life and incessantly posts his dark opinions on the board.
    acronym. n. Outright Conference Championship
    n. A re-spelling of the word offense, spelled phoenetically after the way Rick Majerus pronounces it.
    acronym. adj. Out Of Conference
    June 17, 2010, the date in which Utah officially accepted their invitation to what would become the Pac-12. The day was like Christmas to many Ute fans.
    n. Nickname for Brazilian BYU basketball player Rafael Araujo, who is physical, athletic, strong, and acts like he's in the Strongest Man in the World competition every time he does something remotely well; Named for the famous soccer player of the same nationality.
    Phil Indablank
    A fictional recruit. Leading up to the 2010 signing day, a 5'9", 380-lb athlete was formulated as a joke by Crimsonute. classlessUte texted KALL 700 radio personality Spencer Checketts that he committed to Utah. Checketts googled the name, found the post, and announced it on-air before realizing it was a prank.
    Poppinga Logic
    n. A process of thought most cannot comprehend, logic used to make one feel better about how much one sucks. Example: A statement was uttered by TDS player Brady Poppinga after losing to Boise State: "We showed great signs of a great team. I'm not going to let some field goal, just because it was off by a few feet, determine something else that isn't true. Honestly, after the game, it felt like a win, even though in the record book it didn't go down as a win. In my mind, it was a win. I can live with that."
    Potato Zoob
    (n.)--1. A overly enthusiastic and often delusional fan or alumnus of Boise State football. They are called such because of their striking similarities to Zoobies (in that they are often middle aged and either moderately to severely overweight), but have the unique distinction of being from somewhere in Southwestern Idaho. Also seriously believes that BSU was more deserving of Utah's spot in the 2004 Fiesta Bowl.
    Potemkin Valley
    Potemkin village \puh-TEM(P)-kin\, noun: An impressive facade or display that hides an undesirable fact or state; a false front. Updated for 2004, Zoobie Nation is living in Happy Valley + Potemkin Village = Potemkin Valley.
    n. Conference Player Of the Year, as in Josh Grant, Keith Van Horn, Andre Miller, and Britton Johnsen.
    Pulling a Utah
    v. I saw an article from Stewart Mandel for SI.com. The article has a question and answer format, and some guy from Payson, Utah asked whether BYU's Todd Watkins is a legit Heisman candidate. Mandel says the guy is delusional if he thinks Watkins has a chance at the Heisman. The last sentence of the article made me smile. "Unless BYU pulls a Utah and goes undefeated, no one's going to be winning any Heismans." I remember when "pulling a Utah" might have meant finding a crazy way to lose a game to an inferior opponent. I love the fact that it now refers to having an undefeated season, blowing out every opponent, and busting the BCS. (added by TribUTE)
    Seeing as how there was never really any "U" in Urban, we refer to the quitter as Rban.
    Red Rocks
    n. Nickname for the Utah Gymnastics Team. It came about when someone combined the school color (Red) with the idea that the members of the team are built like Rocks...the words also pay homage to the Red Rock country of Utah.
    n. Rice-Eccles Olympic Stadium -- (See also RES) -- Because the 2002 Winter Olymipcs were hosted at Rice-Eccles Stadium, some refer to the stadium this way.
    n. Rice-Eccles Stadium-- the football stadium where the Utes play home games, named for the joint donations of philanthropists Robert L. Rice and George S. Eccles.
    n. Rice-Eccles Stadium South, where the TDS Kittens play their home games. The Utes have a .857 winning percentage there over the past seven meetings. As Eric Weddle recently said after yet another victory, "This is our house."
    1) n. Shorthand for Utah men's basketball coach Rick Majerus; 2) n. Returned Missionary -- What LDS missionaries are called when they return home.
    acronym. v. Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Ass Off
    n. An acronym that stands for Rolling On the Floor Laughing My Mother BLEEPing Ass Off.
    n. Ratings Percent Index -- an "unbiased" system developed by the NCAA to calculate the relative strength of each school in relation to their own performance and the performance of their opponents. The NCAA Selection Committee is SUPPOSED to use the RPI is a guide for determining bubble teams and seedings for the Tournament, however, it's been the experience of the MWC that the Committee will give MWC teams the shaft, any time it pleases, in favor of eastern teams.
    n. Collective name for Tim Drisdom, Bryant Markson and Richard Chaney. The use of this nickname originated on this board and has since spread through the popular media. The name was taken directly from the rap group of the same name, and was a perfect fit, because these guys like to get out and run the floor.
    acronym. Running Up The Score -- The act of pounding an inferior opponent to death in order to enhance your numerical standings. There's rarely a RUTS in college football. It can only happen under the following conditions:

    1. The winning program is traditionally dominant over a much weaker opponent (e.g. Nebraska vs. Troy State). Oklahoma vs. TAMU is not a RUTS. In-conference games cannot be a RUTS under this point, and, Utah vs. TAMU cannot be a RUTS either.

    2. The losing team waves a white flag and calls no joy. They demonstrate this by pulling their starting O & D. If the winning team continues to play its 1's against the opponents 2's, then its a RUTS. Otherwise, no RUTS.

    It's not a RUTS if the 2's continue to run the gameplan. After all, they need valuable experience running plays at game speed. It's OK to continue to take shots at the end zone, and its OK to play like you mean it. It's still the job of those on the field to give everything they've got.

    See Croutonize.
    n. acronym. Spirit, Honor, Investment, and Tradition is what Bronco Mendenhall aims to bring to BYU and is the standard by which he holds all of his players. Seriously.
    n. A not-so-clever nickname that TDS fans have for the University of Utah. Supposedly it stands for School North Of Town and was apparently derived from a few hours of watching Nickelodeon.
    Screw Monson Play, The
    n. That’s the new term I made up while watching the Utes steamroll the vaunted UNM “Red Menace” machine. SMP stands for the Screw Monson Play. Why make up a term after that blue leotard wearing albino simian? To contest his latest wacked-out article about Alex running too much and essentially trying to put a hex/curse/jinx/bad-karma on our Utes with his poison spew - this is my retaliation to his claim that “Utah is tempting the fates” by calling running plays for Alex. No, jerk off moron with a typewriter, we’re not tempting fate, we’re running Alex just so we can say “Screw Monson!” It isn’t about throwing caution to the winds of fate or karma, having Alex dive in the endzone is about Utah saying “Monson, you’re an idiot – this one is for you.” -- coined by UtesRus
    Seal Club
    Reference to a quote from a Rick Reilly article following the 2009 Sugar Bowl in which he asked "FIND ME ANYBODY ELSE THAT WENT UNDEFEATED. THIRTEEN-AND-ZERO. BEAT FOUR RANKED TEAMS. WENT TO THE DEEP SOUTH AND SEAL-CLUBBED ALABAMA IN THE SUGAR BOWL." Now used to reference any performance of a Utah athletic team or individual that dominates the competitor.
    Skittle Bowl, The
    An alternate name for the stadium where the zoobs play (see LES), as from an overhead view, the stadium looks like a bowl of Skittles because the zoob faithful adorn themselves in all colors, rather than their school colors. It is in direct contrast to the sea of red at RES. Coined by GarthUte.
    Smurf Turf
    n. Nickname for Boise State's blue artificial turf.
    Southern speed
    adj. 1. the unnamed, mysterious advantage SEC teams supposedly have over other conferences. 2. possibly a drug similar to cocaine or other amphetamines. 3. the rate at which Alabama fans hit the exits with 5 minutes to go in the 2009 Sugar Bowl.
    n. Nickname for Utah basketball player Marc Jackson, named for the tremendous spark he provides coming off the bench as the 6th man.
    Sprinkles the Bear
    n. The official mascot of Utefans.net. Gained his name from the combination of bear spray and beer sprinkles (see definitions above). Made his first public appearance as the official mascot at the first ever Utefans.net Basketball game Tailgate party on February 26, 2005. While he is a friendly bear most of the time, Sprinkles has a bit of a short fuse and has been known to maul not only fans of the opposing teams, but Utefans who cause him trouble as well.
    Star whore
    An interesting phenomenon within the merit system here on the board that is known as whoring for stars. The most obvious are the posts that go something like this:

    "I just wanted to say GO UTES"

    ...and so forth. Generally the only purpose for this type of post is to get red stars as if you can cash them in at the end of the season for a free night in a time-share condo in Bear Lake, which is apparently owned and operated by ute4ever.

    It is like the antithesis of trolling, but is much more puzzling, because unless there is great cash value for the stars, it seems pointless. Chances are that a good star whore was an SBO or Zone Leader or something, making online approval somewhat petty.
    n. - A play on the word "sympathizer," used to describe a Ute fan who posts an argument that does either of the following:

    ( a. ) supports or defends a position of BYU fans

    ( b. ) seeks to bring agreement or harmony between Ute fans and BYU fans.

    Also known as a "Zoob Synthasizer."
    (deprecated) n. Short for "Team Down South"...otherwise known as BYU. Urban Meyer brought this new term for those guys during his first Utah-BYU rivalry week. It upset the TDS fans, and, fired up the Utes. NOTE that this term left Utah with Urban Meyer; it is not used anymore in mixed company.
    The New York Cowboys of Liberty
    Mrs. Mphfunk's favorite team to follow on The Mountain, as (not) brought to you by the Dish Network.
    n. The official nickname for the University of Ashley Judd, due to the unspeakable horrors inflicted upon the Utes by THEM, their true name is not to be used on the board, lest ye shall be whipped soundly by a wet noodle.
    Thunder Nate
    n. Nickname for former Utah basketball player Nate Althoff, who was big and strong and made a loud noise when he returned to the floor after throwing down a nasty dunk.
    acronym. Thanks In Advance
    acronym. Tongue-in-cheek
    The Music Man - Like the fictional Harold Hill, Urban Meyer came into town, sold the entire community on his idea, then blew us off to head for the next town and bigger money.
    Tom Amstutz
    Head coach of the Toledo MudHens football program from 2001-08. Following Urban Meyer's announcement that he had accepted the Florida job in December of 2004, Mr. Crimson posted that Tom Amstutz was his replacement. Salt Lake Tribune columnist and radio personality Gordon Monson announced this information on the radio, citing "inside sources". When it was apparent the post was a prank, Monson used the incident to criticize internet message boards.
    Tourney Champ
    n. A team who sucked all year, but got hot in the conference tournament, and didn't have to face UNLV until the championship game.
    n. On the internet, there are people called "Trolls" -- not because they look like monsters -- but because they troll around different message boards, throwing out little baited hooks hoping to get a bite from some eager fish. And like any fisherman, the Trolls won't stay very long if no one bites
    n. Alternate acronym for TDS that means "that school down south." See TDS for explanation.
    n. Nickname for BYU basketball coach Steve Cleveland, whose aging pattern is the polar opposite of Dick Clark's, like the guy on Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade who "Chose poorly," and will soon start walking like Roger Reid and drinking Metamucil on the bench; named for the persistent twitching of his eyes;
    n. Short for Utah's Bitches Conference: an alternate name for the MWC
    n. Shorthand for former Utah football coach Urban Meyer.
    Uncle Larry
    Pac-12 commissioner Larry Scott.
    VP, The
    n. Nickname for Ute Basketball Player Richard Chaney because of the obvious similarity of his name with that of the vice president of the United States. Well, obvious except to some of our dimwitted Zoobie friends.
    n. Vast Right-Wing Conspiracy; usually to control the media outlets; see Limbaugh, Coulter, O'Reilly, Hume ;or any fool who appears on Fox News Channel (FNC).
    n. plural. A customized form of the word “Whiners,” referring specifically to a vocal group of fans that feel persecuted or disrespected to the degree that they must constantly complain about it.
    n. A term for the Utes, used by those alphabetically challenged Cougar fans in Provo. (Click Here for more information.)
    n. Slang term for a BYU student/athlete/fan. (Traditional Saying: "The only REAL institution south of the U is the zoo.") Legend has it the term came about because BYU is like a Zoo, whose inmates roam the grounds seeking mates, thus people associated with it are Zoobies. Also, if you live in a Zoo, your reality is only perceived by yourself, not to anyone else who sees you. The Lions in the Savannah display might think they are in Africa, but everyone else knows they are in the Zoo.
    n. Alleged non-partisan officals on the field/court that consistently make bad calls in favor of TDS. Coined by Big Kahuna.
    n. A horrible transformation that takes place to some misguided Ute fans, who start acting like Zoobies whenever the Utes have a kick-ass season. Please refrain from becoming a Zoot, lest ye be beaten soundly by a wet noodle.


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