You hummed yourself to sleep all week to the strains of "Cleveland Rocks" and you've never seen the Drew Carey Show in your life (because you heard the actors drink beer right on camera).You think Trent Whiting should get 3 and a half more years of eligibility because he only played a half season at BYU.
You believe the only difference between Greg Wrubell and Marv Albert are their moral standards.
You think "the drive" by Danny Ainge is not only the greatest single basketball play ever but that it just happened last week.
You refer to all BYU athletes as "young men", and this includes the women's basketball team.
You can't see a thing wrong with Nate Cooper except that you wish he was a better player.
You think Mekeli Wesley is just misunderstood, and that a lot of MWC players have intentionally set him up over the past four years by hitting him in the elbow with their chins.
You'll tuck yourself into bed tonight wearing the deepest shade of royal blue jammies (feet included) and a two-button trap door in the back.
You won't be at the game tommorrow because you don't have tickets, but you tell your friends its because you were involved in a beer-sprinkling incident last year. (Insert spitting or swearing incident here where applicable).
You turn to your friend during the game and ask what that sign in the Ute student section saying "BYU is Utah's bitch" means. And he doesn't know the answer either.
You think your team has a snowball's chance in h -e double hockeysticks tommorrow.
You stop posting on the Ute board beginning on Sunday and don't post again until next October.
You call the Salt Lake Temple to put the whole team, including Cosmo, on the prayer roll.
You believe Britton has mission legs and is playing poorly but Bigelow will be the league MVP upon his return next season.
you're still mad that Burgess pleased 2 million jack mormons.
You somehow believe Norm Chow was responsible for the 1-25 hoops season and not RR.
The only time you stand up at a basketball game is when "Rise and Shout" comes on, but by gum, you know every word.
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