Subject: Hoping someone out there
can help me... DILEMMA!!
Author: Y'zGuy
Date: 05-25-2001 14:10
ok board, i'm sure most of you will not care at all about this post, but i'm hoping somehow this will fall upon eyes of someone with the capacity to help out, or someone who knows someone who can help out.
Yesterday I was offered a position as a manager
on the football team. this is basically nothing more than an opportunity
for me to live a lifelong dream! as many of you who have met me or seen
pictures of me know, i wasn't built to play football (5'7" , 120 lbs).
so any type of position where i'd interract like this with the team would
be a DREAM COME TRUE for me! if any
of you dont know what a die hard fan i am,
i've been to every home game since the Miami game in 90 (missed two years
on mission, but thats it). i've been to road games at San Diego, Las Vegas,
Utah State, Colorado State and of course the Yootz.
Now what is the dilemma? Well, due to the
demanding schedule i'd have to quit my job. Now this position doesnt pay
hourly, it gives me a scholarship for tuition but nothing more and there
wouldnt be time to study and have a late evening job. I already am on student
loans which would help a little, but i still would be quite a bit short
of money for rent, groceries and
other living expenses. my parents wish they
could help, but just laughed when i told them about this (yeah, laughing
at something that would be a dream for me!) telling me "it would be a great
experience, but financially it isn't realistic", so i'm hoping someone
out there might help this become realistic for me.
i know i'm probably dreaming, but as i have stated, this would be a dream come true for me and i figured i could not let this opportunity pass me by without atleast trying to make things happen. hopefully there is someone, somewhere, who is looking to assist someone in my position with a type of finanacial aid grant. if you or anyone you know would be able to help, please e mail me at jasonp@byu.edu
and for those out there just waiting to slam me for this, dont bother. i've consulted with a few other board members to see what they think and they all felt it wouldnt be in bad taste to post this. i am looking for serious replies only.
now i know some of you are thinking "why not
just work a lot this summer", i thought the same myself, i would be willing
to work 3 jobs if that is what it took to get enough money to do this.
however i'd have to report in mid july for training, then once summer camp
starts august 6th i will have no
time to do anything other than eat, drink
and sleep football. so that basically rules out 3 months of working 80
hours a week. i'm looking at 6 weeks until i would start.
and yes, i would be interested in any help on a long term low interest loan to be paid back when i'm done with my schooling.
this takes the cake. There are plenty of things I'd like to do, but between dental school and now residency I don't have the money to do it. I just face the harsh reality and leave it at that. Asking for financial help on the internet, what a crock of shit! I know he didn't directly ask for money, he asked if anyone knew of any grants, but don't think that post wasn't intended to plant a seed to the former.
Just
when I thought my opinion of his intelligence couldn't get any lower.
It isn’t Y’z guy’s fault and you all should stop making fun of him.
Oh sure, it is easy enough to make fun of Y’z guy for his pathetic attempt at securing capital to fund his lifestyle. But who hasn’t let naked desire get in the way of good judgment. It isn’t any different than the time in junior high school when you finally mustered the courage to share with little Mary Sue your deep feelings (which you obviously believed were mutual or you would never have had the courage in the first place) only to be told she just wanted to be friends. Of course her definition of “friends” meant you should never call or talk to her again and she should immediately tell every girl in the entire school what a loser you were. Well it didn’t feel very good now did it. Even though you reacted like every other reject by stating emphatically to all that would listen that you “never even liked her”, I’m sure it took a few days before you could look anybody at school directly in the eye. It was probably a month before you could even talk to another girl without THE FEAR of HAS SHE HEARD ABOUT MARY SUE caused your body to direct all blood flow directly to areas that sweat.
At least when it happened in Junior High School you probably had good intentions. But I have to believe that it has happened to most of you as adults as well. Only on those occasions your intentions were probably not so pure. As adults that type of rejection usually is reserved when you’ve tried to GET OVER on someone. You only have to watch Tom Welch walking in and out of court appearances to understand what happens when those little dances come unraveled. We’ve all done it and we do it for various reasons. Sometimes we get away with it and, on those occasions we don’t, we’re left backpedaling and sputtering in our own embarrassment.
So Y’zGuy wanted to sniff jocks so bad he could taste them and he obviously wanted to convince his fellow Zoobs that they shared his dream---that they, in fact, had dreamed of the day that Y’zGuy would be handling sweaty undergarments for the BYU and that part of their dream involved the transfer of cash. He was really no different than Tom Sawyer and not nearly as bad as Tom Welch. As witnesses to this failure, what do the members of this community do? We pile on with the jokes and the put-downs and the hilarious laughter and I could go on but you already know what I mean. What you don’t know is it isn’t his fault. It is because he lives in Utah County.
Dan White had his junk food defense, Y’zGuy deserves his Utah County defense. Before I describe the Utah County defense, however, we must first examine Y’zGuy’s offense. Y’zGuy was a cheap, whiny bastard. When faced with a situation his family described as “financially unrealistic”, he agreed--and then set out to let others make the sacrifice it would take to pull the thing off. How very Utah County of him.
Item--in today’s Deseret News, Brad Rock writes that the Provo Angels baseball club is looking for area residents to host players this summer. I don’t care how “minor league” your baseball team is, if you expect your players to sleep on someone’s couch because you don’t pay them enough to rent an apartment you are a cheap bastard.
Item--Every year the BYU basketball program is faced with a dilemma over what days it wants to schedule games that interfere with various church activities. Sunday, sabbath; Monday, FHE; Tuesday, Scouts; Wednesday, Mutual; Thursday, Relief Society quilt making and gossip session; Friday, “date night”; Saturday, the day we get ready for Sunday. Every year a decision is made and submitted to the league office. Every year the schedule then comes out THE WAY BYU REQUESTED IT and Cleveland complains bitterly that the league is trying to screw BYU. Steve Cleveland is a whiny bastard.
Item--a BYU chat board apparently breaks down over the weekend and instead of spending the money to fix it immediately the zoobs come over here to whine about their teams. CHEAP, WHINY BASTARDS.
From the guy who makes twenty-seven people stand in line at 7-11 while he writes a check for his big gulp for “five dollars over” because it saves him a five minute trip to the bank to the stampede which erupts at any public gathering where the words “free sample” are uttered, Utah County contains more cheap bastards per square mile than any other place in this country. Worse yet, these people will whine when their own cheapness is exposed.
Perhaps I exaggerate? Perhaps not. How many of you have observed someone attempting to use an expired coupon at a restaurant and then whining when it was not accepted? Do you really believe they didn’t know it was expired BEFORE THEY TRIED TO USE IT? If any of the movie theaters currently showing Shrek in Utah County asked to see birth certificates for those children admitted free the whinefest that would ensue would cause mountains to tumble.
What is the cause of this behavior? That is a question for others to answer. After all, in most of the rest of the country this type of behavior would be considered repugnant and shameful. In Utah County, however, the tallest office building was built on the premise that all you need do is find enough suckers to sign up in your “down line” and you won’t personally have to do any work at all.
Maybe it all started when the Cannon brothers figured out that if they could get the State to pay for Geneva they personally would make money. Maybe the fact that BYU allows the concepts of “calling” and “job” to co-mingle in a way that allows them to pay cheap salaries. Maybe it is simply the natural result of a birth rate approaching that of third world countries that has triggered a hording instinct in case the ability to deliver necessary goods and services is overwhelmed by the shear numbers.
Whatever the case I submit that it is bigger than Y’zGuy. He is the victim here. I submit that he is a miserable, cheap, whiny bastard who simply wanted to run his fingers and arms through large piles of sweaty underwear----and yes, he probably wanted to take a big whiff. But so does everybody else in Utah County, metaphorically speaking. To single him out for special ridicule is unfair and uncalled for. He is no different than any other Zoob and should be treated as such.
Hi, my name is Y'zGuy and let me tell you about myself.
I
absolutely love this Ute board. Let me tell you about one of my typical
days. It all begins at 8:30 when the radio blares on with the best of Air
Supply. What better way to wake up in the morning? Seriously, I can humm
"Here I am, the one that you love" all day long. That song rules! Too bad
that they don't have too many new tunes, so its a good thing that 98 degrees
is such an awesome band! Anyway.
After
I wake up, I run to my 166mhz computer (I am scoping out a new 233 mhz
computer...my bid of $32 on EBAY may land me it, but the auction doesn't
close until Friday, wish me luck!) and check out the Ute board. It takes
it about 13 minutes to download, but it is much quicker than those chat
lines that I am on...those take forever to load up. On this single chat
line that I have joined, I go by "Wild Bill" because the chicks seriously
dig it. I say cool things like "Hey baby, I was working out last night..."
or "I bet you are beautiful but to me, that's not important, I want to
learn what kind of person you really are..." Girls dig both of those lines.
OK, back to this board...I just love how all of my fellow Coog fans post such insightful comments that make fun of all of these Utes. It is hillarious. Too bad that stupid posters like OhioBlue and others always mess it up with sometimes agreeing with you stupid Ewets. Isn't that funny how I spell that...Ewets....another funny way is to spell it Yootah! You can say it look Booyah! Funny stuff.
I mean how could you be a YEW--TAH fan with so many stupid things that they have up on the Drug Hill...funny of me to call it the drug hill. They have big Majerus. Yuck. So what that his teams are always real good and that his players get on the Honor Roll...he's fat and that's all that's important. He also swears. What a turd! And then they have stupid womens gymnastics. Yeah, whatever, don't they know that BYU placed in the top 15 of the Prestigous Sears International Cup of Sports? We are a juggernaut.
PigSkin Post which is a national internet site that is famous throughout Utah county is also awesome. They think we should be in the PAC-10. I personally don't think that this should happen. BYU is so well-known internationally that we should start up a whole brand new conference that will rule. We will invite the following schools: Duke, Harvard (our equal in the East), North Carolina, Michigan, Notre Dame (I like catholics too), Miami (we beat them a few years ago around when Ty won his heisman), Indiana, UCLA, Stanford and Oxford (our equal in the UK). This conference would rule. I think it could happen, just think of the matchups! Who in the country wouldn't want to see a great BYU-North Carolina basketball game. What traditions both schools have.
Our football team rules. I mean look how many QBs we have that went to the pros...We are a juggernaut...who needs Lavell, he was a drag, I can't wait for the famous Gary Crowton to coach here. I love this board. All of the other Y boards are kind of lame, so I love to come here and rant because a lot of people come here...I mean seriously, I am a legend here. Other great posters like Darren, Coug and Red Apples think I am awesome, they can't be wrong.
Anyway, back to my day...after I spend 7 hours on the Ute board, it is back to the Chat line. And let me tell you, it is not easy to be on the internet from 9am to 10:30pm every day...Good thing I take a break around 6pm to go get me some chicken nuggets. They are really tasty morsels of food. And my name, don't you love it: Y'zGuy...it has a couple of different meanings and they are woven together....like Wise Guy...get it?...and also it says that I am a Y guy...get it? Great double meaning. Witty and in a way, kind of charming. I love this board. I am a legend here.
Some inside info on me: I am real tan (who needs sunscreen...and also, the tanning salon can make me tan in mere minutes), I like long walks on the beach. I like great literature like John Grisham. I like big dogs like a Standard Poodle. I also like to dance. I can dance alone or with girls...I just like to groove. Anyway, I gotta go...some hot girl named "Pretty Girl" just sent me an email and I gotta respond, because I am Wild Bill. Go Val Hale, and go Cougars!
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