HOOPS: Aah yes, I see the hippos are back, which could only mean....
Posted By: OhioBlue
Date: Wednesday, 20 February 2002, at 10:26 a.m.
....well, you know. Since the font color is still crimson, I'm assuming that ths time the slow transition to Cougar Blue will take place in reverse, so that after the Cougs win in a blowout the board will appropriately be decked out in the winning color. :-)
So where's all the game talk? The analysis of the matchups? The petty insults to the opposing coaches? The discussion of which player is easiest to hate? Could it be that Ute fans are already dealing with the eventual loss? Or have BYU trolls all run off after that Canadian figure skater?
I suspect we'll know everyone's true opinions about how this game will turn out AFTER it's over. In an effort to achieve some balance, I'll share with you the enlightening dream I had last night, and reveal who will win.
First you have to understand that my dreams never make sense, usually leaving me in the same stupor of confusion that accompanies the attempt to understand a BloodSimplex post. Given that fact, this particular departure into the weird world of my mind actually possessed some element of structure: everything was switched up, opposite, backwards, and generally akin to the upside-down-carrot salad with shredded green jello that the good Mrs. Whiting prepared for me the other evening.
This dream of dreams must have had some significance on an abstract level, but i'll leave it up to any pyschoanalysts/dream experts out there to figure it out.
It was an auspicious beginning, right from the very start (sorry for the repetitive redundancy). I found myself in what looked like a green pasture, miles of beautiful grass as far as the eye could see. As I looked in all directions I spotted a lone man, crouched down with what looked like a paintbrush. I approached him and found to my surprise that he was painting a logo. Suddenly I saw the stadium around me and realized where I was--Heaven!! I asked him his name, he replied, barely missing a beat between brush strokes, "Die-Ute-Hard is my name, field care is my game." I looked down to see a beautiful Cougar logo and then I was sure I was in Heaven.
As I further inspected my surroundings, I saw the stadium name: Gary Crowton Field at Rice-Edwards Stadium, and the goal posts looked like giant burning screws. Feeling somewhat confused but mostly hungry, I trotted off and soon found myself outside a large, indoor basketball arena. There I met two fellows who called themselves Y'z Ute and PortlandGuy, who inexplicably were linked at the hip, hugging and smooching and engaging in all sorts of other NCMO. Running quickly away I headed straight for the front doors of the giant edifice, catching the name in bold letters out of the corner of my eye as I ran inside: Marriott-Huntsman Center. My eyes were almost immediately assaulted by the gawdy combination of mustard-yellow seats and crimson-red decor, all surrounding a floor painted in the deepest shade of royal blue.
So anyway, after I stopped sneezing (who knows why) a portly, balding man approached me with a napkin, and offered it to me. Said napkin was full of various sketches and little drawings, little cougar-like creatures, some random swear words, and of course leftover milkshake. Politely refusing, I instead offered my hand and said, "Hello! I'm OhioRed."
The man gruffly withdrew his napkin as though I had just refused the key to all mysteries of life, and mumbled something like "Rick Cleveland" but I couldn't be sure. No sooner had he turned to walk away than another man appeared from out of nowhere, apparently very nervous about something as he was alternating between twitching and pacing. He introduced himself as Steve Majerus and promptly turned to Rick and called him fat. The fight that ensued was glorious. The players who had been practicing on the floor rushed up to join the fray.... I really couldn't make out faces but the names on their jerseys were BJ Hansen, Trace McBigelow, Monty Spivey, Butter Bobik, and something that I swear looked like Olga Ngata. As I backed away from the melee some guy named LA Cute Ute came in and karate chopped them all...blindfolded. It was pretty cool.
Suffice it to say I wasn't sticking around to see how this one turned out, although the score board did say something like BYUtes 34 U of Cougs 31. As I turned to run away I heard the fat one named Cleveland shouting something about liking his "fine men young" and at that point I knew I'd had enough. As I raced toward the bright light coming from the outer arena doors, a calm feeling came over me and suddenly I was filled with the knowledge of all things past, present, and future...
OK, so that's when I woke up. Don't quite know what to make of it. Oh yeah, and I forgot all that pure knowledge stuff too.
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