Posted By: THE GHOST OF MACPHISTO
Date: Thursday, 6 September 2001, at 11:15 a.m.
After spending much of the morning haunting the BYU Boards, I realized I now know why Utah Fans hate BYU Fans. Besides being self righteous, boring, self righteous, and living in a dream world, I find them to be even worse than utah fans. Between "All is well in Zion/BCS" Cougar Fans and "We beat USU but Rice Sucks" Utah Fans, I think you and I Mr. Crimson should get together and go bowling. Examples of some of our great BYU Fans:
Cougar Fan #1: I love WYO, Utah, UNLV and everybody else that doesn't play BYU tee hee. Just think, if WYO beats Texas A&M and we beat WYOming, BCS Baby!!!! Mr. Macphisto Says: But WYOMING FANS HATE BYU!!!! Cougar Fan #1: Oh Mr. Macphisto don't come around here with your complex, everybody loves momons, don't you read the paper? You have a persecution complex and are on the road to apostasy.
Cougar Fan #2: Mr. Macphisto your posts are not of the spirit, mean, and you need to chill out. In fact any post that we don't agree with, we will call you on the road to apostasy, angry, and down right rude. Don't make us censor you Macphisto, keep your voice down, Miss. State Fans might get the wrong idea. Agency is a principle that needs to be inforced. Question? Can you say chill out in Provo?
Cougar Fan #3: I agree with what Macphisto is saying but, if I post that I agree, I might be labeled as a rebel and my reputation could be destroyed at church, work, message board, and on the streets of the garden of ed err provo. I better not speak up, somebody might call me a loud mouth or a boat rocker, or John Rocker. I know Brigham Young was outspoken but that was a different time period. Oh no, here comes my wife, she has warned me about the Victoria's Secret catalog on line, I have to cancel out of that other screen...
Cougar Fan #4: I'm mainstream, I want to be loved by all the world. Do I despise polygamy you ask? Of course it's the worst thing in the world. Do I drink beer? Sure, once in a while doesn't hurt. Now can we be in the BCS?
Cougar Fan #5: Mr. Macphisto, if I'm unhappy it means that god is testing me, if you're unhappy it means satan has a hold of you and won't let go. Be happy, post happy things on this board!!!! Sing a song if you have to... "Give said the little...". SOME IDIOT ACTUALLY SAID: "I have more fun as a BYU Fan than you do Macphisto". Relax Macphisto, I know half of the valley is on prozac but maybe you should be as well.
Cougar Fan #6: I heard from a friend of a second cousin on my mothers side that Macphisto isn't active and watches R movies. By the way, I hope there isn't anyone on this board that watches R movies?
In other words utah fans, even though I will never be welcome at RES, and even though I don't see myself switching teams in the near future, do you have a place for a poor, broken down, boardless, angry, depressed, ex-byuboard member, MACPHISTO? I promise to attend the meetings. Let me come back please!!!! I promise, no fat coach comments, no talk of BCS and the 80's, and I promise to attend one game this year at RES. Take me back!!!! As for BYUBoard members, just pray for me, I know you will anyway.
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