Rivalry Smack
BYU Co-Ed Jokes  

These jokes were graciously provided by the regulars on the Message Board.

What is the difference between a BYU coed and a toilet?
The toilet doesn't follow you around after you use it.

What do a BYU co-ed and a quarter in the toilet have in common?
Everyone looks at them, but no one wants to take them out.

A BYU co-ed and a Utah co-ed enter the ladies room at last years football game. They both enter their stall and do their business. Simultaneously, they flush and exit the stalls. The BYU co-ed heads for for the sink while the Utah coed heads striaght for the door. In disbelief the BYU co-ed shouts after her: "At BYU they teach us to wash our hands!", to which the Utah co-ed replies: "At the U they teach us not to pee on our hands."

What do you call a BYU Coed Handgliding?
Solar eclipse.

What do you call a 300 pound BYU coed?

How do you get a byu coed into an old VW bug?
Grease her thighs and put a twinkie on the dashboard.

What is the difference between a BYU Co-ed heading to the cafeteria and a speeding bullet?
Superman can stop the speeding bullet.

What's the difference between a police car and a BYU coed?
It takes two police cars to block the road.

What does a moped and a BYU coed have in common?
They're both okay while the ride lasts, but you don't want anyone to see you on them.

Did you hear about the driver who had to swerve to miss the BYU coed walking in the road?
He ran out of gas.

Did you hear about the new BYU Coed Doll?
You put a ring on her finger and she inflates.

What is the difference between a BYU Coed and Sasquatch?
One of them weights 300 lbs has matted hair and stinks and the other has big feet.

A BYU Coed had car trouble out on I-15. After a few minutes of attempting to flag down another car to help she decided to hike up her skirt a bit and show some thigh. Of course this did not help at all so next she decided to take of her shirt and jump up and down waiving her arms. After several minutes and still not being able to get someone to stop, she removed all of her clothing and and stood next to her car in the most sexy mannor that a BYU Coed could come up with. About that time a group of Hells Angels came by, immediatly stopped, grabbed the coed, took her down into some bushes and gang-dressed her.

What does a BYU Co-ed do when alcohol shows up at a party?
She pulls her panties back on and leaves.

What is the difference between a BYU coed and garbage?
The garbage gets taken out at least once a week.

Why is BYU considering fitting Cougar stadium with artificial turf instead of grass?
So the cheerleaders will stop grazing...

A convict gets released from Jail at the point of the mountain and he is standing on the southbound side of I-15, trying to thumb a ride. A BYU co-ed is driving home to Provo and she sees the guy and thinks he's kind of cute and so she stops and offers him a ride. They go down to Provo and she asks him what he does. He says, "Well, I've been in prison for the past twenty years because I killed my wife and my children."

The BYU co-ed gets excited and leans over excitedly and says, "Oh...so you're single?!??!"

How does a BYU coed take a bath?
Fills the tub, then puts in some water.

Riddle: In a room with four corners, there are four mammals. One corner has the Easter bunny, another has Santa Claus, one has a beautiful BYU coed, one has an ugly BYU coed. If a treasure was placed in the middle, which of the above would claim the prize?

Answer: The ugly BYU coed, because none of the others exist.

What's the difference between a BYU coed and a bowling ball?
You can only get three fingers in a bowling ball.

How do you get a BYU coed into a phone booth?
Butter her sides and throw in a wedding ring.

What's the differnce between a BYU coed and a police car?
It takes two police cars to create a roadblock.

How are BYU coeds like paint?
Get them all stirred up and you can't get them off your hands.

A BYU coed went to the health center. "I have a cold in my head," she told the nurse.
"Well, that's better than nothing," the nurse replied.

Did you hear about the truckload of pigs that got loose on the BYU campus?
They had to check I.D.s to reload the truck.

What is the thinnest part of a BYU coed?
The hair on her palms.

Did you hear about the carload of BYU coeds who froze to death at the drive-in movie? They went to see the movie, "Closed for winter."

What's 36-24-32?
A BYU coed's leg.

It takes at least three BYU coeds to play hid-n-seek. One goes to hide and the other two try to figure out who left.

How do you tell a if a BYU coed is smart?
Her lips don't move when she reads to herself.

S: BYU coeds have that far-away look. The farther away they get, the better they look.

Did you hear about the lucky BYU coed who had a date every Friday night last semester?
She kept them in her refrigerator so they'd stay fresh all semester long.

Why did BYU Security raid a candle-passing in the girl's dorm?
They thought they were breaking up a dope ring.

What's the difference between a BYU coed and a rooster?
Roosters say "cockadoodledo" but BYU coeds say "any dude'll do."

Why didn't the BYU coed use her water skis?
She couldn't find a lake on a hill.

A BYU coed asked a store clerk, "Can I put this wallpaper on myself?"
"Yes, but it will look better on the wall," he said.

There are two kinds of BYU coeds: good-looking ones and sweet spirits.

Did you hear about the BYU coeds who were stuck on the escalator at University Mall for two housr during a power outage?

What has an I.Q. of 144?
Twelve BYU coeds.

Someone once asked a BYU coed, "Are all girls as stupid as you are?"
She answered, "No. Look how many single girls there are at BYU."

A BYU guy approached a BYU coed with this old line, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
She replied, "Yes. I have been somewhere before."

What's the difference between a BYU coed and a palm tree?
A palm tree has dates.

What's worse than being a BYU coed?
Being behind one in a cafeteria line.

If a BYU coed ever said what she thought she'd be speechless.

How do you get a BYU coed into your car?
Show her a diamond ring.
How do you get her out again?
Tell her that you're a non-member.

Why do BYU coeds wear stripes?
So you can tell if they're standing up or lying down.

Why do BYU coeds have such a terrible time in the morning?
They're so fat they rock themselves to sleep trying to get up.

"Do you remember when you were born?" a friend asked a BYU coed.
She answered, "No, I was too young."

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