As the sun begins to crack through the blinds, a consciousness overcomes and an awakening happens. He leaps from the clutches of his "Star Wars" sheets to log on to the precious internet. "There," he says to himself, "is the future of BYU basketball."
BYU basketball, a much maligned and often ridiculed organization has in recent years seen a rebirth, or in Mormon terms, a "baptism." The one to initiate the ordinance has been the savior from Fresno, none other than Steve Cleveland. Cleveland was not the first choice in the hearts of many the blue bloods. He was not proven in the upper echelons of the "world of the hardwood." After all, the only good thing to come out of Fresno is contraband by mormon doctrine. A man named Harrick was proven commodity, and was of the cloth, yet, he had as many skeletons in the closet as the Grateful Dead. Another choice was a man they called "Jughead." He was the mormon on the staff at the great and abominable school to the north, who had helped cause anguish of the byu loyal, yet neither he could not land the position.
Cries of "Steve Who?" came from the shadows of Geneva Steel and were heard in the parking terrace of NuSkin. In family home evenings, lessons were given by the patriarch of heeding the words of the brethren even though this seemed like another great apostasy.
Then good things began to occur. He convinced some of the boys to come to provo, and forgo the opportunity to be berated by the "Jolly Fat Man of the North," and join the trek across the plains of college basketball wasteland to perhaps the land of NCAA births.
The static and tones of the phone line began to synchronize with his US Robotics connector, and a he was informed that he was connected at ten billion giga-whatevers. He pulled down the bookmark to reveal "Cougartalk" and "Ysite" and "BYU Cougar Blue," and some sites that said "Barely Legal" and "Pamela Anderson."
This was no ordinary day, he had just heard from his neighbor's brother's sister in-law who had performed a colonoscopy with Dr Garner Meads and in the heat of the procedure he had said that his son wanted to go to BYU. Our friend the BYU blue blood could hardly wait to bestow his almost first hand information to the legions of the blue and white. Surely he would be interviewed by Tom Kirkland for "out scooping all of the experts.
He contacted his buddies, posted his info on Cougartalk and ran over to Pacwesthoops to declare the certain dominance of the fourth reich.
Life is good for the cougar fans. They have won the national championship of the internet.
Too bad the games still have to be played, and to date, Garner Jr. still has not signed.
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