It's GIF Tuesday, y'all!!!!

by hnoseguard 2013-05-14 08:45:36

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Sometimes, when I get bored, I use gizoogle to translate bible verses into jive

by hnoseguard 2013-05-10 14:19:01

John 3:16 becomes the following:

Jizzy 3:16

New Internationistic Version (NIV)

16 For Dogg so loved tha ghetto dat he gave his one n' only Son, dat whoever believes up in his ass shall not perish but have eternal game.

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This judge is my hero - he used no less than 10 Star Trek references in his condemnation of bittorrent copyright trolls

by hnoseguard 2013-05-07 15:54:24

http://torrentfreak.com/federal-judge-fir es-phasers-photons-at-prenda-for-80k-damag es-130507/

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Jhill, if I had a dollar for every time Todd has gotten hammered and put on his Nacho Libre cape. . .

by hnoseguard 2013-05-06 17:21:28

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Congrats H-man! Here's a wedding-related piece of advice you'll soon learn (if you haven't already).

by hnoseguard 2013-05-04 20:18:25

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Even though Shaky isn't with Green Bay anymore, I did enjoy this tweet by Aaron Rodgers

by hnoseguard 2013-04-26 02:02:50

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GIF Tuesday - all of the original Star Wars in one GIF

by hnoseguard 2013-04-23 15:19:53

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With Joseph Smith AND Moses on the team this year, we are so close to having our own Super Best Friends a la South Park. All we need is a walk-on linebacker named Jesus and we'll be there.

by hnoseguard 2013-04-22 08:18:20

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The best part of waking up

by hnoseguard 2013-04-14 13:18:18

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The micro sd card in my phone crapped out during the night

by hnoseguard 2013-04-13 19:56:20

What a giant pain in the ass it has been to restore the last ~40 days of data off that God forsaken card (I should probably back up more often). I was able to restore all but 3 photos from the vacation last month, so missus noseguard won't castrate me in my sleep. . .which I'm quite happy about:

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My mother-in-law showed up unexpectedly at my door today with no advance warning

by hnoseguard 2013-04-08 15:14:25

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Damn you wildlife of Cottonwood Heights, damn you to hell!

by hnoseguard 2013-04-06 01:08:16

11:30 at night and my German Shepherd scared the hell out of me. I was happily reading downstairs in my basement when Bear comes running around the corner and launched himself towards the window well, barking and pawing furiously at the window. He about gave me a heart attack. I knew instantly there was an animal of some sort in the window. I was hoping for some baby quail again or maybe that nice badger from last summer, but no, this time I was dealt with a large mouse or a small rat. I don't know rodents very well, but you can judge for yourself with the picture my wife took (bottom of post).

I grabbed my trusty shovel and headed outside. My wife held Bear on a leash and armed herself with the flashlight. I really have to give Mrs. noseguard credit, she is terrified of rodents and her hand was shaking and trembling the whole time, but still, she stayed by me. I positioned myself carefully next to the rose bush and lined up my kill shot. With a mighty thrust I launched my attack but the rodent jumped up at us right before my shovel hit. The shovel instead hit the metal liner and the recoil put my arm in the rose bush and tore up my shirt.

My neighbors, most of whom are well past retirement age and likely not awake at midnight, and even if they were awake, they can't hear too well (God bless them though, wonderful people), but if they were awake and could hear, I'm sure they would be wondering why I'm out in my front yard yelling and swearing at midnight. But I digress, the rodent was now in a state of panic, squeaking and squawking as loud as it could while doing its best to try and jump out of the window well. For being a fat looking vermint, that sucker could jump surprisingly high.

I was forced to come up with a new plan. . .so I went to the back yard. I came back with a large rock and dropped it down the window well. It succeeded in immobilizing the rodent which gave me time to grab the shovel and proceed with my original plan. . .pure genius if I do say so myself. So how was your night?

http://i.imgur.com/cpJsfco.jpg

PS I am going to Home Depot tomorrow and buying covers for all the window wells. Yes, I should have done this months ago. I probably even said I was going to do this after the raccoon incident, but this time, I really mean it.

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Bill Clinton - The Lady Killer

by hnoseguard 2013-04-05 11:31:57

Link to the high res photo:

http://i.imgur.com/6WDf03g.jpg?1

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Amazon is having a killer sale on MP3 albums of the Red Hot Chili Peppers right now

by hnoseguard 2013-03-30 17:00:45

Greatest Hits album for $1.99 and most albums for $3.99 including Blood Sugar Sex Magik.

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I think Garth made this video about Comcast

by hnoseguard 2013-03-29 12:23:32

NSFW audio (single well-used f-bomb)

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Kids these days. . .

by hnoseguard 2013-03-26 01:07:19

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/highschool- prep-rally/texas-senior-sets-bench-press-r ecord-astonishing-700-101340413.html

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Best sound bites of the 2012 NFL season "I say that, they say this. If you wouldn't, uh, did what you woulda did, then we wouldn't, uh, be where we was at to get what we got"

by hnoseguard 2013-03-23 00:21:48

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I'm getting in the basketball spirit!!!!

by hnoseguard 2013-03-21 12:04:47

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While not my favorite movie of all time, it's definitely on my top 25 - Good Will Hunting

by hnoseguard 2013-02-28 14:05:55

I love Robin Williams' character:

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Cornbread. . .ain't nothing wrong with that

by hnoseguard 2013-02-28 01:42:15

http://www.thepostgame.com/blog/training- day/201302/man-produced-crazy-record-break ing-squat

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Manti Te'o is having a rough Valentine's Day

by hnoseguard 2013-02-14 11:24:05

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I'm using this card for Valentine's Day attached to the flowers I ordered for my wife. . .even if I end up on the couch, it's totally worth it

by hnoseguard 2013-02-14 02:15:02

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Sweet bearded Moses, Vince Young took out a $1.9 MILLION loan in 2011 at 20% interest and used 300k of it for his birthday party

by hnoseguard 2013-02-12 23:47:56

Vince has been terrible with money ever since he entered the league, but you have to wonder - who is the bigger fool? The man who takes out such a loan or the company who is willing to give it to him?

http://sports.yahoo.com/blogs/nfl-shutdow n-corner/did-vince-young-loan-300-000-part y-former-215607296--nfl.html

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I am happy with the decision to hire Erickson, here's a rage comic to celebrate

by hnoseguard 2013-02-11 13:44:31

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GIF representation of BYU's move to independence. You think you're moving upward and onward, but really it just ends up being quite painful and embarrassing.

by hnoseguard 2013-02-05 13:49:10

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For H-man (and all Bill Murray fans) - 8 true stories of the man, the myth, the legend.

by hnoseguard 2013-02-03 12:28:35

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/9 842124/Eight-brilliant-true-stories-about- Bill-Murray.html

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Choo choo

by hnoseguard 2013-01-29 10:58:35

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After reading UF.N this morning

by hnoseguard 2013-01-25 11:25:24

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'Murica!

by hnoseguard 2013-01-22 11:43:44

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Paul Kruger, Ray Lewis, Haloti Ngata - my kind of defense! Let's go Baltimore!

by hnoseguard 2013-01-20 16:09:48

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