* Note: Current rankings are based on activity in the last calendar
Either Oregon is going to the Final Four this year or Utah might not be tournament worthy.
by TheBaron 2016-02-07 15:26:30
The gap between these two teams, especially the intelligence and mental toughness gap, is Grand Canyon wide. Oregon looks flat out amazing every time they take the floor against Utah. They are as athletic as any team in the country this year. Their effort level is relentless. It's scary that they have a lot of young talent getting minutes on this team.
Right now is simply too entertaining NOT to spend a few minutes laughing at cougarbored until your sides hurt.
by TheBaron 2016-01-06 21:13:15
Why we won't see Kristo in the Marriott center again.
The reality is that while BYU is in the WCC and Utah in the PAC, Utah has little interest in playing BYU. They get 11 quality home games each year. We get 3-4. They know they have all the card in this game. You could tell before the rivalry game this year that Kristo was definitely nervous. I think that the game took a huge emotional toll on him. If he won't play this year, it is unlikely that he will play the game during the next 6 years, Unless Rose agrees to a 2-1 deal or similar. He knows that BYU will have the most talented teams in the next 6 years. There is really no benefit for him to risk getting beat. It's obvious that Kristo and Hill have been looking for an exit to the series. The fighting excuse is pretty opaque to most savy sports fans and sports media, but Emery's punch (as weak as it was) provided the perfect excuse. If Kristo is nervous about coming to Provo next season, the pressure on him will only increase every year thereafter. That is why he won't be back to the marriott. I expect that he will move on to another program.
Now if you only think that this will cost Utah 80K for the buyout then you don't understand how big this is for the State, the region and to Utah politicians. From talking to a legislator, it may be a little more difficult to get funding for some of Utahs capital projects in the coming sessions. Of course Utah has a lot of money but Utah also spends (wastes) a lot of money. This decision will cost them a bit more than they have calculated.
*Larry K and Utah are nervous and scared to play the WCC powerhouse that is BYU.
*It is already an established fact that the Final Four bound Lone Peak All-stars would sleepwalk to dominating victories over the Runnin' Utes.
*Larry K is so scared of BYU and the Marriott Center that he will never coach a game in Provo again.
*Larry will literally change jobs to get out of the state of Utah, just to avoid the certain death that is stepping on the court against the mighty Cougars of Provo.
*The Mormon Mafia will use the legislature to financially damage the state's flagship university if the U doesn't get on its knees and fellate the LDS church's college basketball program.
I get a ton of pleasure out of the fact that unconstitutional political corruption is the only potential leverage BYU has over Utah in 2016, and even their craziest fans know it. "We should have the gerrymandered LDS state legislature threaten to defund a public university if they don't bow to the athletic desires of a private religious school!" Everything about that is so typical of the way this state is ran that I half expect it happen.
The Big 12 is wise not to get in bed with such corrupt sociopathic zealots and the U would be wise to sever ties once and for all.
I've been holding onto this one for a while, but now seems as good of a time as any to post it.
by TheBaron 2015-12-09 16:33:52
These are the bubble dwelling, arrested development mental midgets that Utah's coaching staff has to outsmart on the 19th. I like our odds.
Before anybody asks, no; I am not a 3D artist for Pixar. Sadly, this footage is very real, not staged, and all parties involved were dead sober. If Utah loses to these guys, the entire coaching staff should be forced to walk home ass naked.
There are many possible outcomes for the game tonight, but the most likely outcome is Utah cruising to 3 in a row.
by TheBaron 2015-12-02 15:12:28
People have been giving BYU-Provo far too much credit. Here are BYU-Provo's opponent rankings according to Ken Pom -
Utah Valley - 335
Long Beach State - 206
Mississippi Valley State - 349
Belmont - 90
Provo's current SOS? 345 out of 351 total D1 basketball teams. If that doesn't sound crazy enough, they actually lost to #206 Long Beach State.
BYU-Provo's best win came at home against #90 Belmont. Belmont has also lost games to Arizona State and Evansville.
But wait! There's more! Their game in Provo against Mississippi Valley State - yes; 0-8, ranked #349 out of 351 teams, Mississippi Valley State - went down to the wire. It was a 5 point game with 30 seconds to go.
Folks, BYU-Provo is not a good basketball team this year.
Utah, on the other hand, has several key players that have inexplicably played like hot garbage, yet has managed to go 5-1 against:
Southern Utah - 316
San Diego State - 44
Texas Tech - 78
Miami - 17
Temple - 64
Idaho State - 330
While not exactly murderers row outside of Miami, Utah has actually played against and been tested by real competition. The odds are tonight's game isn't going to be nearly as close as many of you are assuming. If the players that tore it up last season but look like hot garbage this season actually show up to play tonight, it will be a blow out.
I see only two ways BYU-Provo wins this game:
1) Poeltl gets into deep foul trouble very early in the game, forcing Utah to sit him for multiple 10+ minute stretches. BYU-Provo is now able to absolutely dominate inside with rebound and put back after rebound and put back, winning in a close one.
2) One of the Provo allstars goes absolutely incredible hulk, Steph Curry unconscious and has literally the game of his life; hitting stepback 3s through the double team from 5 feet behind the arc, making out of control scoop shots under the defender while falling down 15 feet from the basket, etc. en route to a 30+ point performance.
Barring those two scenarios or something unforeseen and outlandish, Utah is about 7 hours away from 3 in a row.
When I listen to KW talk about the Utes, he sounds exactly like most Ute fans - beyond frustrated with the offensive incompetence to the point he wants to scream and start smashing $#!+.
by TheBaron 2015-11-28 14:16:25
The difference is that it's Ute fans' job to get drunk and have a good time, while it's literally Kyle's job to fix the offense regardless of whatever excuses are out there. He's clearly as frustrated with the offense as we are and yet he's been woefully incapable of fixing the offense. New year, same shit and he knows it better than anybody.
That should piss me off, but instead it softens my perspective of Kyle. He really is trying his hardest to fix the offense and he's drowning like a quadriplegic in the Mariana Trench without a life jacket.
What blows my mind is that when Norris is healthy, Gionni is probably only the second best LB on the team. At the same time, Gionni is probably a top 3 all-time LB at Utah. How in the Gayle "Clit Dozer" Ruzicka did we manage to get 2 of the top 3 all-time Utah LB's on the same team?!?!
It's a crazy, crazy world we live in when Utah's strongest position group is LB.
Our D-line is nationally elite. Our secondary is nasty. At the same time, our LBs are several steps better than both.
Bad news for the Utes - neither Juju Smith nor Adoree Jackson are eligible to declare for the draft after this season.
by TheBaron 2015-10-31 15:17:24
USC is going to be insane next year if they hire even a half decent coach. They are mind-blowingly stacked right now. Probably the most future first round draft picks of any team in the country.
It's criminal that USC isn't challenging for the CFP every season. There are probably a couple dozen coaches that could coast that Ferrari into 11+ wins most years. Hopefully USC finds a way to screw it up and hires another Sark/Kiffen.
I visited a couple ASU message boards and cougarbored for what I call Schadenfreude Sunday.
by TheBaron 2015-10-18 20:29:05
The buzzword on cougarbored right now? "Lucky".
Most posters can't for the life of them figure out how Utah keeps getting so "lucky". Of course, if you watch every game with a sincere belief that Utah is overrated and that every opponent is clearly, undeniably superior to Utah, I can see why you'd think it's crazy that the inferior team keeps winning every single week.
An intelligent person would realize that they had severely underrated the supposedly inferior team and be forced to admit to its superiority. A moron chalks it all up to "luck" and continues to repeat the same mistake week after week. BYU-P fans are mostly morons, so every other post over there has the word 'luck' worked into it multiple times.
Of course, the two luckiest plays I've seen all season were close your eyes and say a prayer Hail Marys and both happened to involve a certain parochial school, in back-to-back weeks, against blah opponents that turned out not to be nearly as good as was assumed at the time. If it wasn't for some incredible, almost unheard of luck, said parochial school would have started the season 0-4.
You have to appreciate the irony of the fans of arguably the luckiest program in the 2015 college football season pointing their fingers at arguably the #1 program in the 2015 college football season and shouting luck. It's a classic case of psychological projection; also known as every damn day on cougarbored. All you can do is laugh at these ass clowns and keep it moving. 0% chance they will ever get it. That fan base is a black hole of cognitive dissonance.
I hate... loathe... DETEST when religion is shoehorned into college football.
by TheBaron 2015-10-09 15:47:17
I'm not talking about the Mormon choir singing "Utah Man" (although I do find a choir of teetotalers singing a drinking song somewhat amusing), but rather the response it elicits from LDS Utes, non-LDS Utes, and the zoobies. It's unfortunate - understandable, but unfortunate nonetheless - that a large number of people around the state can't just listen to it and say "that's a very talented choir singing an interesting rendition of 'Utah Man'" and move on.
Instead, it makes some non-LDS Utes think "Oh, great. Another log on the bonfire of misconceptions about the demographics of Utah." It confuses some LDS Utes into falling for the zoob trap of mixing football pride with religious pride. It leads to gnashing of teeth from the zoobies that see it as a slap in the face for their choir to support such a filthy, vile "anti-Mormon" university.
Why can't football just be about football and religion about religion? Is there any other place in the country where religion constantly gets shoehorned into secular places and events that it has no business being shoehorned into?
There is one thing I am certain we can all agree on - all the blame lies with BYU-Provo and its horrible fan base that takes every possible opportunity to shoehorn religion into %^#@!ing EVERYTHING. If we woke up tomorrow to news that BYU-P and all of the zoobs had been wiped from the face of the earth, the mixing of religion and football would disappear with them. Utes of every creed, color, and conviction would be better off for it.
In spite of Utah/Michigan being on FS1 and BYU-P/Nebraska being a national broadcast on ABC with no competing split or mirror game, UU/UM still outdrew NU/BY. One game was an all-time record for its network while the other game drew less than half of the ratings drawn by the same time slot last year. The "national fan base" must have been napping.
Send utahman3431 flowers (but not through ProFlowers.com) and a nice card to let him know how much Utes everywhere appreciate him. If flowers aren't your thing, there is a donate button at the top of the page where you can donate via Paypal.
Everything I wrote that wasn't a prediction was and still is 100% accurate. BYU-P is totally and completely beholden to the WCC when it comes to adopting P5 measures with Title IX implications, which most definitely includes COA stipends.
I recently had a chance conversation with a WCC AD, so naturally I took the opportunity to talk to him about COA stipends and the WCC's plan. Unfortunately, he told me the WCC voted a couple of months ago to allow member schools to pay COA stipends at their discretion as long as Title IX requirements are followed. (After which BYU-P promptly did that whole "$4,500/yr" PR blitz.) His school doesn't have the budget to simply pay all athletes in all sports, so he's planning on paying COA stipends only to men's basketball and to the equivalent number of women athletes in order to comply with Title IX.
He said they are "very much aware" that BYU-Provo plans on paying all athletes in all sports and he agrees that it will give BYU-Provo additional competitive advantages in any sport that schools in the WCC decide not to match, but he said that ultimately he and the other ADs decided they'd rather have BYU-Provo gain an advantage in some minor non-revenue sports than block all COA stipends and let "the entire country" get an additional advantage over the WCC in men's basketball. Essentially, the silly idea of keeping WCC men's basketball "competitive" with the P5 sealed the deal for BYU-Provo being permitted by the WCC to pay COA stipends across the board.
Some WCC schools are planning on paying COA stipends to a lot more than just basketball, but some are going bare bones, which will keep costs extremely low. (Just 13 men's basketball players and 13 equivalent women's scholarships = 26 x stipend amount.) All WCC schools are planning on paying COA stipends to at least men's basketball and the Title IX equivalent.
I have to say that he seemed frustrated when I brought up BYU-Provo and their many "advantages" over the rest of the WCC, but he did what you'd expect an AD to do and claimed he has "some exciting plans" to keep his department competitive. I got the impression that BYU-P frustrates the WCC ADs, but ultimately the WCC benefits enough to make their smug entitlement worth it for the time being.
I've seen multiple posts today about the BYU fraudsters (redundant) that refer to their alma maters as "BYU and BYU-I" or "BYU and BYU-Idaho". In the future, I suggest calling them "BYU-P and BYU-I" or "BYU-Provo and BYU-Idaho". I recently discovered that referring to The Zoo as BYU-P or BYU-Provo drives nearly all zoobs absolutely bonkers, like you made a sexually explicit comment about a messy three way with their wife and mother.
I am going to make an effort to start adding "P" or "Provo" to the end of BYU every time I type it and I suggest that all able-bodied Utes do the same. It just feels like the right thing to do. We wouldn't want any confusion about which location of BYU the person attended, seeing how BYU-Idaho and BYU-Hawaii are equal partners in the BYU university system.
As far as I can tell, it drives zoobs nuts because going to BYU-P is about feeling "better" than everybody else; especially the plebeian LDS that "couldn't get in" at BYU-Provo like God's chosen did and therefore are forever second class for going to BYU-I or any other university. Calling it BYU-Provo implies some level of equality with BYU-Idaho and BYU-Hawaii, and nobody goes to BYU-Provo to feel equal, gosh darnit.
Going to BYU-P is about the LDS community knowing that you are special; you are chosen; you made it through the absurdly inflated admissions requirements and received an average undergraduate education at the world's largest and heaviest chaperoned 4 year speed dating event, where every participant has been pre-screened to ensure that they share your religion, your recessive genetics, and your enmity for independent thought.
All of the cougarbored links posted today inspired me to read a few threads and drink some cougar tears.
by TheBaron 2015-05-06 21:19:41
After browsing for awhile, it's clear that none of them understand how the new full cost of attendance stipends work. They clearly think that every athlete in the country currently gets the same amount of money and these stipends are basically "extra", so a larger stipend equals a larger monthly check than schools with a lower stipend amount.
They are crowing that they will "pay" athletes $3,000/yr "more" than USC. ($4,500/yr full COA stipend at BYU vs. $1,500/yr full COA stipend at USC.) What they don't seem to understand is that after full COA stipends go into effect, USC athletes will still get quite a bit more cash every month than BYU athletes, largely due to the cost of living gap between Los Angeles and Provo.
BYU will be adding $4,500/yr to the amount that athletes currently get paid at BYU and USC will be adding $1,500/yr to the amount that athletes currently get paid at USC. When you add $1,500/yr to USC's current scholarship amount, USC athletes will still get a significantly larger check each month than what BYU will athletes will receive after adding $4,500/yr to what BYU athletes currently get paid.
They need to think of it like this - a zoob makes $15/hr and is getting a $4.50/hr raise. The office jerk makes $25/hr and is getting a $1.50/hr raise. The zoob's raise is significantly larger than the office jerk's, but the jerk is still going to make quite a bit more money than the zoob after the raises go into effect.
I thought BYU's accounting program is supposed to be elite. How are they all so confused by fairly simple math involving fairly simple numbers?
Uh oh. Utah's new basketball commit is light skinned with cornrows.
by TheBaron 2015-05-06 14:08:58
Expect two more years of zoobs making "totally not racist" Brittney Griner jokes about players that don't look like Brittney Griner. They can differentiate between 124 different shades of blonde hair and 82 gradient levels of alabaster skin opacity, but light skinned + braids or cornrows = Brittney Griner.
Enjoy this collage of athletes that look just like Brittney Griner according to BYU fans:
The "Bull$#!+ Foul" disparity is now +12 Arizona. No, I'm not joking at all. I've been keeping track.
by TheBaron 2015-02-28 21:14:58
Arizona has been called for two that were bullshit upon video review. Utah has been called for fourteen bullshit fouls. Seriously - fourteen. This is fucking done. Refs decided the game. I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT! %$#! #@^^ &%%# @%%# &*&% ^^&$ ^$%@ %^#$ !$%% #@%^ &%^# *%&$ &$%%!
PacHoops points out some things about the Utes that you probably already know, but also some things that you wouldn't expect. There are a couple things about the Utes that are strikingly unique among their highly ranked, defense first peers. Good read to get into the game day mood.
$#!+ just got real. This isn't funny on any level anymore.
by TheBaron 2015-02-12 17:46:49
According to a court affidavit filed for the arrest warrant, West, 18, is accused of sexually assaulting the complainant, a female, who had allegedly been summoned to the home by West through a website that solicits escort and other services, with the expectation that she would receive $160 for the call.
The police report and court documents allege that West brandished a large silver kitchen knife in the garage after the pair moved from a bedroom because a family member had returned home. Court documents state that West placed the knife against the complainant's neck and demanded sexual favors, which she eventually performed after an attempt to defend herself with a "small dagger" she pulled from her boot was unsuccessful.
I have no idea how he's not being charged with solicitation or sexual assault/rape, but jesus lord this is bad. One has to imagine even BYU won't attempt to spin its way out of this one. I will be shocked if the kid ever suits up for the zoo. Terrible situation for all parties involved.
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