* Note: Current rankings are based on activity in the last calendar
PSA of the day:
by TheBaron 2015-05-20 12:49:41
I've seen multiple posts today about the BYU fraudsters (redundant) that refer to their alma maters as "BYU and BYU-I" or "BYU and BYU-Idaho". In the future, I suggest calling them "BYU-P and BYU-I" or "BYU-Provo and BYU-Idaho". I recently discovered that referring to The Zoo as BYU-P or BYU-Provo drives nearly all zoobs absolutely bonkers, like you made a sexually explicit comment about a messy three way with their wife and mother.
I am going to make an effort to start adding "P" or "Provo" to the end of BYU every time I type it and I suggest that all able-bodied Utes do the same. It just feels like the right thing to do. We wouldn't want any confusion about which location of BYU the person attended, seeing how BYU-Idaho and BYU-Hawaii are equal partners in the BYU university system.
As far as I can tell, it drives zoobs nuts because going to BYU-P is about feeling "better" than everybody else; especially the plebeian LDS that "couldn't get in" at BYU-Provo like God's chosen did and therefore are forever second class for going to BYU-I or any other university. Calling it BYU-Provo implies some level of equality with BYU-Idaho and BYU-Hawaii, and nobody goes to BYU-Provo to feel equal, gosh darnit.
Going to BYU-P is about the LDS community knowing that you are special; you are chosen; you made it through the absurdly inflated admissions requirements and received an average undergraduate education at the world's largest and heaviest chaperoned 4 year speed dating event, where every participant has been pre-screened to ensure that they share your religion, your recessive genetics, and your enmity for independent thought.
All of the cougarbored links posted today inspired me to read a few threads and drink some cougar tears.
by TheBaron 2015-05-06 21:19:41
After browsing for awhile, it's clear that none of them understand how the new full cost of attendance stipends work. They clearly think that every athlete in the country currently gets the same amount of money and these stipends are basically "extra", so a larger stipend equals a larger monthly check than schools with a lower stipend amount.
They are crowing that they will "pay" athletes $3,000/yr "more" than USC. ($4,500/yr full COA stipend at BYU vs. $1,500/yr full COA stipend at USC.) What they don't seem to understand is that after full COA stipends go into effect, USC athletes will still get quite a bit more cash every month than BYU athletes, largely due to the cost of living gap between Los Angeles and Provo.
BYU will be adding $4,500/yr to the amount that athletes currently get paid at BYU and USC will be adding $1,500/yr to the amount that athletes currently get paid at USC. When you add $1,500/yr to USC's current scholarship amount, USC athletes will still get a significantly larger check each month than what BYU will athletes will receive after adding $4,500/yr to what BYU athletes currently get paid.
They need to think of it like this - a zoob makes $15/hr and is getting a $4.50/hr raise. The office jerk makes $25/hr and is getting a $1.50/hr raise. The zoob's raise is significantly larger than the office jerk's, but the jerk is still going to make quite a bit more money than the zoob after the raises go into effect.
I thought BYU's accounting program is supposed to be elite. How are they all so confused by fairly simple math involving fairly simple numbers?
Uh oh. Utah's new basketball commit is light skinned with cornrows.
by TheBaron 2015-05-06 14:08:58
Expect two more years of zoobs making "totally not racist" Brittney Griner jokes about players that don't look like Brittney Griner. They can differentiate between 124 different shades of blonde hair and 82 gradient levels of alabaster skin opacity, but light skinned + braids or cornrows = Brittney Griner.
Enjoy this collage of athletes that look just like Brittney Griner according to BYU fans:
The "Bull$#!+ Foul" disparity is now +12 Arizona. No, I'm not joking at all. I've been keeping track.
by TheBaron 2015-02-28 21:14:58
Arizona has been called for two that were bullshit upon video review. Utah has been called for fourteen bullshit fouls. Seriously - fourteen. This is fucking done. Refs decided the game. I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT! %$#! #@^^ &%%# @%%# &*&% ^^&$ ^$%@ %^#$ !$%% #@%^ &%^# *%&$ &$%%!
PacHoops points out some things about the Utes that you probably already know, but also some things that you wouldn't expect. There are a couple things about the Utes that are strikingly unique among their highly ranked, defense first peers. Good read to get into the game day mood.
$#!+ just got real. This isn't funny on any level anymore.
by TheBaron 2015-02-12 17:46:49
According to a court affidavit filed for the arrest warrant, West, 18, is accused of sexually assaulting the complainant, a female, who had allegedly been summoned to the home by West through a website that solicits escort and other services, with the expectation that she would receive $160 for the call.
The police report and court documents allege that West brandished a large silver kitchen knife in the garage after the pair moved from a bedroom because a family member had returned home. Court documents state that West placed the knife against the complainant's neck and demanded sexual favors, which she eventually performed after an attempt to defend herself with a "small dagger" she pulled from her boot was unsuccessful.
I have no idea how he's not being charged with solicitation or sexual assault/rape, but jesus lord this is bad. One has to imagine even BYU won't attempt to spin its way out of this one. I will be shocked if the kid ever suits up for the zoo. Terrible situation for all parties involved.
In a magical land of unicorn and rainbows, where all teams in college basketball play a nearly identical schedule, I believe Gonzaga would be a 4 or a 5 seed.
by TheBaron 2015-02-07 22:52:36
Every season they win a one horse race in the WCC and ride it to an undeservedly high seed in the NCAAs. The #1 seed talk is completely ridiculous, yet I almost expect it to happen with the hype they are getting this deep into the season. I guess the prognosticators didn't learn their lesson the last time Gonzaga was anointed.
I very badly want Utah to end up in Gonzaga's bracket. there is no greater seeding gift than being in the bracket that has a soft #1 seed. It would be unlikely that Utah would see anything higher than a #4 seed in the elite 8. I highly doubt Gonzaga makes it that far.
The team can finish out the rest of the season without the pressure of winning a conference championship. Utah can still do big things this year, but a PAC-12 championship almost certainly isn't one of them. When you're not even the best team in your own conference, there's no reason to read your press clippings and get a big head.
Time for the team to accept how far they still have to go and get to work.
He's not necessarily seeing the cause of the loss any differently from the fans, but his demeanor about tonight's ass beating is as chill as an iceberg in January. His NBA experience, where last year's champion lost 27 games along the way and was still considered completely dominant all season, has taught him to take the causes behind the losses seriously while not sweating them or over-emphasizing what they mean.
Krystko's got this. I believe we still have at least a 50/50 shot at the conference championship. Enjoy the ride.
Arizona's basketball skills: Good, but nothing special. Maybe 3rd or 4th in the conference.
Arizona's physicality: MMA level; absolutely elite. Arizona played out of control violent and the refs rewarded them for it again and again. Smart, smart, super smart game plan on their part.
Arizona's mental toughness: Nationally elite
Arizona's effort level: Extremely elite. Maybe the best in the entire NCAA. This is the #1 reason they will go impressively deep in the NCAA tournament with NIT basketball skills.
Arizona's big game mojo: Unquestionably elite
Utah's basketball skills: Almost elite, but not quite there.
Utah's physicality: High against finesse teams, but wilts like spinach under high heat against teams that play like teeth kicking brawlers. See: Arizona and SDSU
Utah's mental toughness: High, but nothing even close to Arizona's. Utah straight gave up during multiple stretches while Arizona maintained extreme focus during every second, from tip to buzzer.
Utah's effort level: High, but nothing even close to Arizona's. This is the single most controllable metric in all of sports and Utah failed spectacularly tonight. This one is entirely on the coaches and players. Simply unacceptable in any game.
Utah's big game mojo: Inconsistent. A lack of big game mojo can keep a final four quality team from even making the sweet sixteen. This ties back in to mental toughness and effort level.
After watching every single Arizona game and every single Utah game this season, I believe Utah is, by a sizable margin, the more skilled team with better out of game coaching and would beat Arizona 8/10 times if all things were equal, but all things are not even close to equal.
Arizona tried WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY WAY harder tonight, which is embarrassing and simply unacceptable. Arizona played physically out of control - almost violent - daring the refs to call them out for it, while Utah played "within the rules" and got absolutely owned because of it. This is something I fully expected to happen and I am a basketball idiot compared to every single coach on Utah's staff. Utah should have been better prepared for it and responded more confidently, but they weren't and they didn't.
Utah is going to have to make some fundamental changes, emphasis on the "mental" part, or Utah is going to lose to AZ in SLC, therefore losing the conference title, and lose to AZ in the conference tournament. Arizona played like bullies and Utah took a fist to the face like an unconfident nerd overwhelmed by the situation.
I believe Utah has both the coaches and the talent to fix this and punch AZ's teeth out in SLC, but it isn't a foregone conclusion by any means. Utah has a lot to work on while AZ simply needs to stay the course. Call me delusional, but in spite of it all I have faith that Utah's staff and players will figure things out, beat AZ in SLC, and win the PAC-12.
I'm jealous of Boise State's football program because their coaches have always understood that offense is every bit as important as defense.
by TheBaron 2014-12-31 15:16:30
I dare not dream of how awesome Utah football would be with a coach that both understands that undeniable truth and possesses the ability to walk the walk.
Then again, maybe instead of dreaming one only needs to watch the Frogs to see what happens when a defensive guru steps out of his comfort zone, hires quality offensive staff, and tells them to score as many points as possible.
I am pleasantly surprised that the playoff committee admitted they made a mistake last week and dropped TCU from #3 to #6 after a blowout win.
by TheBaron 2014-12-07 14:39:10
In spite of the incredible performance put on by OSU this weekend, I didn't think the committee would have the balls to do something so dramatic. Putting TCU behind Baylor after having them multiple places ahead of Baylor just days ago is a pretty big mea cupla. People with power, especially when acting in groups, almost never admit fault or change course so quickly.
Relative to the AP Poll and the embarrassingly worthless Coaches Poll, I've been impressed with the playoff committee rankings from the first time they were released until the present. This is one situation where it's clearly better to put the power into fewer, more intelligent hands rather than a large collection of ignorant and extremely biased writers or coach's secretaries. The best part about the new format has been the rankings. They may not be perfect, but they have been a huge improvement.
Two things I expect to see in the ASU/Irish game today -
by TheBaron 2014-11-08 13:44:52
1) I expect ASU's offense to look solid and productive, putting up a lot more points than they did against the Utes and validating the suffocating awesomeness that is the Utah defense.
2) I expect Notre Dame to put up at least 250 passing yards, further demonstrating that Utah's struggles on offense are about the Utah's passing game being terrible and Travis being god awful at reading blitzes, rather than ASU having a stellar defense like some people thought last week.
Maybe I'll be wrong about one or both of those predictions, but that is what I expect to see.
Is anybody surprised that the most conservative team in the country is from Utah and coached by a Mormon? :D
by TheBaron 2014-11-02 07:47:57
In spite of his blind spots and areas of embarrassing, fireable incompetence, I love Whit and want to see him extended, but the guy makes me feel like some sort of masochistic pervert for watching the Utes struggle year after year to find a Sunbelt level offense. How many OCs and QBs can one man burn through before people accept that he's the sole cause of alll the offensive problems? There is no other explanation or excuse left. That much was clear like 3 OCs ago.
As long as Whit is the coach we need to dial back our expectations and accept that Utah has to maintain a crazy elite, top 5 defense and crazy elite special teams just to be competitive in our losses. Utah is a mediocre QB and mediocre offensive play calling away from legitimately competing for the MNC. Most teams need a quality OC and quality QB play just to get bowl eligible, but mediocre would be enough to make Utah a perennial top 10 program.
The day we have a top 50 QB is the day Utah becomes one of the big dogs. Silly me used to think finding a mediocre QB wasn't that difficult and it's just a matter of time. I'm finally starting to accept that we don't have a coach capable of identifying, recruiting, coaching, and supporting even a mediocre QB. I'm not smart enough to understand why, but Whit is what he is.
I love the Utes and will be at the Oregon game, excited to watch our defense smother the best offense in the country and keep the loss respectable. It's a damn shame that half of the game will feel like getting a cucumber shoved up my urethra.
Not that it's news, but Derik Stevenson is the definition of a zoob in every way. Derick honestly lives in a completely different reality than the rest of us.
by TheBaron 2014-10-24 14:39:16
A reality where the world waits with baited breath for BYU to fart and then declares the aroma "big time". A reality where BYU is a national powerhouse that happens to be down a little bit at the moment, but otherwise would receive an invite from every major conference in the country - if only the university presidents weren't all a bunch of dirty anti-Mormons. Why is the world full of so many anti-Mormons hell bent on holding back BYU from it's rightful place next to, but slightly above Alabama?! Utah got invited to the PAC-12 over BYU? ANTI-MORMONS EVERYWHERE! UGGHHHHH!
In Derik's reality, BYU beat an "average Texas team" and Utah beat "the worst Michigan team in decades", when both teams are currently sitting on a 3-4 record. Why does Derik call one 3-4 team "average" and the other "the worst in decades"? Oh yeah - BYU beat one of them while evil incarnate, Utah, beat the other. A good little zoobie makes sure to always spin and lie his ass off to cast God's one true university™ in the most flattering light possible, even if that means tearing down BYU's superiors in order to give the illusion of parity.
Like most zoobs, he calls every quality team Utah beats "overrated" or "terrible" and every mediocre to awful team that BYU beats "underrated" or a couple of bounces away from being ranked. I've seen a different zoob claim that BYU's squeaker at home against a mediocre Virginia team is the best win of any team in the state this season; no joke. He claimed that OSU is "terrible" and UCLA is "bad" and "criminally overrated". Yet when BYU was 4-0 after barely sneaking by bad teams and beating down a 3-4 Texas team that played BYU without 11 of their starters, zoobs argued that BYU should have been top 10 and was a strong candidate for the playoffs.
Derik calls out Bronco for his "arrogance", but then Derik takes personal credit for BYU's so-called "tradition", speaks as if glory and greatness are BYU's birthrights, and repeatedly calls Utah State a "glorified high school". Of course, he does these things while failing to see even a shred of irony. He doesn't see his own arrogance because he genuinely believes that BYU is a tradition rich power program being embarrassed by Bronco's failure to match BYU's prior glory.
That is Derik's - and most zoobs - biggest problem. They honestly think BYU used to be big time. In truth, BYU was 2007 Hawaii, and, like Hawaii, they only did it ONE YEAR EVER. Unlike Hawaii, it happened 30 years ago. 30 years! Other than that, BYU's glory years weren't much different from what BYU is right now - a decent mid-major program that almost never played against teams with a pulse, usually lost - often in a blow out - whenever they did play a quality opponent, and spent most of the time racking up wins against terrible teams.
The reason they went 19-2 against Utah during a 21 year stretch wasn't because BYU was a powerhouse; it was because Utah was at its all-time nadir and the Utes had a hard time beating even the aforementioned terrible teams that BYU was beating up on, let alone beating the pride of the WAC. Speaking of which...
When your claim to fame is being the best team in the WAC for a couple of decades, after the two best teams in the WAC bolted for greener pastures, you don't have a claim to fame. You are nothing. In reality, BYU isn't at a low point right now - they are near their historical apex. Right now is about as good as BYU has ever been. In 1984, BYU didn't play a single team as good as 2014 USU or Nevada.
The "greatness" of BYU under LaVell was about exploiting a novel and exotic offensive scheme to beat up on inferior competition and then crow about how they would totally beat the best of the best, if only they got a shot at them. BYU is college football's Uncle Rico. They are the original Boise State - beat up on terrible teams in the WAC after the WAC's best teams left for greener pastures. Both programs even got lucky on a couple of special QB recruits. The similarities are uncanny, except for Boise comes out looking about 100 times more impressive. If you compare their best wins and their overall records, BYU comes out looking like Boise-lite rather than vice versa.
Zoobs think BYU is big time. The ignorant watching from afar think they are a has-been. The educated know that they are a never-was. Derik is a zoob, and hubris like his could complete BYU's regression to the mean, returning them to what they always were without LaVell or Bronco - a regional punching bag.
OSU created a video hoping to convince OSU fans to "crank it like a chainsaw" whenever they play this terrible song during games, because... um... chainsaws cut wood and beavers chew wood? I'm not sure, but trying to inorganically manufacture a nerdy ass "official" dance move deserves to be punished by Orchard and friends. What kind of football team has its own dance move?
I have watched thousands - literally THOUSANDS - of NFL and college football games.
by TheBaron 2014-10-05 00:17:29
I watched Ed Hochuli fully steal a done deal win over Denver from San Diego that had major playoff implications on what is considered the worst call in NFL history. It was such bullshit that the rule books for both the NFL and college football have been changed exclusively because of it.
I hate conspiracy theories and genuinely believe that 99.9% of them are bullshit. In all of those thousands of football games I have watched I have never once believed in such a thing as a legitimate, bonafide referee conspiracy... until tonight.
There is zero question in my mind that the refs conspired to give that game to UCLA. Utah was the better team by 14-21 points tonight, but the refs made the game go down to the last play - TWICE!
Even the announcers couldn't stop commenting on the number of "fortunate" calls UCLA got called in their favor and the number of "unfortunate" calls that UCLA should have been penalized heavily for, but weren't. There were so fucking many "unfortunate" calls and almost all of them were so comically egregious that I can no longer believe that while refs frequently blow calls (duh), it is not malicious or with the intent to effect the outcome of the game.
Unless Utah just played the single unluckiest game of football I have ever witnessed, I believe the referees conspired to cheat that win in UCLA's favor. In spite of Utah overcoming the absurdity to secure the win over a top 10 team on the road, I am disillusioned and despondent right now.
Like Vin Scully himself, I don't believe what I just saw. Tonight was utter bullshit for four fucking quarters and I want to see someone held accountable. Unfortunately, I know the chances of that are about 0.0001%.
FUCK!!!!!!!!!!! This is one of the biggest wins ever and all I can see are all of the "missed" ridiculously obvious calls and all of the flagged completely bullshit calls that UCLA was gifted. It was seriously over 100 yards all told. Tonight was the worst screw job I have ever seen in all of my years obsessing over football and the Utes found a way to overcome it. I have no words for that part other than "wow."
SO GOD DAMN MANY TIMES. Please, sweet and merciful Jesus - let it end differently just this once. Outside of 2008 it always ends in heartbreak under Kyle. Can Utah EVER catch a break without finding a way to ruin it?
I spent all week talking myself out of believing that Utah will win tonight, doing my best to accept the odds are stacked against us and UCLA is not going to allow themselves to have a letdown at home after their big ASU blowout.
Now that it's game day, I've gone from "just try to enjoy the game for what it is" to "don't be so negative; stranger things have happened" to "what if WSU was a fluke mixed with some terrible luck and Utah is a lot better than I think?"
I've been fully sucked in and now I'm excited and nervous for the game, just like I would have been if Utah had won last week. Against my better judgement, I really feel like the Utes can pull off the big win. I know I'm not the only one on here that does this to himself every week. It's the roller coaster that makes college football so fun when I'm not melting down over a bad loss.
In the PAC-12, every week is a new opportunity to make some noise and tonight is a big one. I still have faith that Kyle and co. can pull off a masterful game plan and ruin the Bruins' dream season. Here's to hoping UCLA plays tight and Utah plays like a team with nothing to lose.
B-b-but, but - Taysom jumped over the limp body of a bad Texas team's 3rd string safety after the guy fell down for no reason!
by TheBaron 2014-10-04 00:45:39
That play meant BYU was a playoff team and all but guaranteed Taysom would win the Heisman! This totally unbiased Monty guy on 1320 told me so! How could the baby Jesus let this happen to God's anointed football team? Where will I buy $5 t-shirts to clothe little Jaxon, Azlyn, Noah, Lakynn, Blaze, and Kaylee? How will the football team convert millions of people if they can't even beat Utah State?
No longer drunk. Still can't believe Utah found a way to lose to Wazzu, at home, after being immediately spotted 14 points by the D and special teams.
by TheBaron 2014-09-28 08:15:30
I genuinely believed Kyle had turned things around. I was so sure. Easiest PAC-12 opener of his career and yet 0-1, once again, just like 2013; just like 2012; just like 2011. Let me guess how this movie ends - Utah is going to get a huge win, such as UCLA on the road or Oregon at home, and still finish 5-7 or, if we're lucky this year, 6-6. Even if Utah goes 6-6, with the talent on this team, with everything on the line this season, with the current state of the PAC-12... I make a change and I don't look back. This is Kyle's 10th year. If he had an ace up his sleeve he'd have played it years ago.
Kyle has so many blind defenders that refuse to accept reality; that are proud of perennial mediocrity; that are happy with a goal 6-6; that were afraid to replace McBride. This season is Kyle's ceiling, people. He doesn't recruit any better talent than the talent we already have right now. He's on his 7th offensive coordinator in 7 years and this time he didn't just promote some random position coach from within the staff expecting them to be the next Chip Kelly. If he can't get it done this year, he's not getting it done.
Obviously there are still another 8 games to be played and "anything can happen." Of course it's theoretically possible Utah still puts together its first PAC-12 winning season. (4-5, 3-6, 2-7, 0-1)
Like I said, I genuinely believed Kyle was going to turn things around. I was so sure. Last night broke my spirit and suffocated my faith. It got me to finally say the last thing a program ever wants a fanatic to say - "I need to take a step back and stop spending so much time and energy on Utah football."
I am an extremely grounded and healthy NFL fan, but a sick and unhealthy college fan. I'm going to try to take a step back and accept the mediocrity of Utah football. Hopefully one day we'll be able to reach the maddeningly reasonable, but seemingly impossible goal of breaking .500 in conference play. Just don't expect it to happen without a coaching change.
When your defense gets a pick six and your special teams gets a touchdown return, if you lose on the road in Tuscaloosa you have some serious questions that need to be asked about the heart of your players and the competency of your coaching staff.
by TheBaron 2014-09-27 23:15:44
When you lose to a 1-3 Washington State with your entire fucking career on the line --- AT HOME ---- you need to seriously consider naming an interim head coach before you embarrass yourself any further in next game. If Utah loses to UCLA, I will fully support letting Kyle go back to 1979 and letting Kalani give it a go as the interim HC.
If Kyle has even a basal level of integrity, he will consider seppuku as an honorable way out of the wet, steamy pile of diarrhea he's created. What a fucking joke his program is. A pathetic, shameful joke.
WSU is the third worst team in the conference, for Christ's sake; ahead of only Colorado and.......... Utah.
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