Posted By: ColoUte - Bandwagon Porn Czar - UteStar,
you're dangerously close to making my list <everutes@hotmail.com>
Date: Friday, 16 November 2001, at 9:32 a.m.
1. There will be a brawl on the field. However, it will occur while the teams are still in their respective locker rooms. The brawl will take place when the President of the Liberty Bowl looks across the field and sees the Fiesta Bowl Janitor....errrrrrrr....representative adjusting his hairpiece. He intereprets this motion as the "Neener-Neener" sign, and the gloves drop.
2. The cool night will keep the stench of the dead people in the west stands under control. This allow the stadium air to be dominated by the stench of the Aqua Velva eminating from the student section.
3. YzGuy and 2 friends will remove their shirts and paint B-Y-U on their chests. However, the B on YzGuy McBeal's chest will have to wrapped around to about the middle of his back. He will be promptly removed from the stadium after the coed directly behind him sees only the two humps and complains about the obscene body art.
4. Utah's first play: Run Hunter off tackle, gain of 8.
5. BYU's first play: Mahe takes the field to the roar of the crowd. He lines up to snap the ball in some borderline-legal center-eligible formation. He snaps the ball on the angle to Doman on the opposite hash-mark. Doman runs to Rykert - who's holding his hands in the "give me a boost" position - steps on the hands, and does a double twisting back layout. While he's upside down, he drops the ball into the waiting arms of Luuuuuuuuuuke, who pumpfakes to the streaking TE - Dustin Staley - pulls up, and hits a wide-open Mahe across the field who runs out of bounds - ya know, to kill the clock. Gain of 3.
6. Sheldon Deckart will hit Luke Staley so hard, he'll knock a personality into him.
7. After Utah scores it's first TD, the Utah crowd bursts into a raucus round of "Utah Man." Unfortunately, most of the crowd think the lyrics to the song as written are nothing more than the words "F--- the Y" on the last two beats of the song. This blatant act of taunting prompts the key shaking of a lifetime towards the hooligans in the north endzone. A sprinkle of knuckle blood hits an innocent young Ute fan, and a BYUBoard troll is born.
8. If Utah loses, all the talk next week will be about how Mac should be fired for only managing a disappointing 8-3 record in a year with so much expected.
9. If BYU loses, all the talk next week will be about how someone in the conference office should be fired for scheduling this game so close to Mahe's emergency surgery.
10. Score? C'mon. If I could predict a score, I wouldn't be here posting from work. I'd be posting from my 50 foot yacht anchored off the coast of Cancun.
OK, I know I'm not going to get away without mentioning something. My heart tells me that Utah will win by 45. But my head isn't that optimistic.
I'm going to have to take 34-31...but in reverse...
Utah - 43
BYU - 13
OK, that's not serious, but, seriously, this game will come down to intangibles. Neither team will play error-free football, and both teams are good enough to make the opposition pay for mistakes. The team with the fewest mistakes wins.
GO UTES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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