1) Garner Meads has become a fundamentalist Christian and thinks BYU is too liberal. He's about to commit to Oral Roberts
2) Majerus is interviewing for the now open Prime Minister position is Japan. All that's holding this up is the approval of the archbishop of Kyoto. Rumor has it that to close the deal, they had to promise to ship in barbecue sauce to go on top of sushi.
3) Juddy WILL BE the next head coach at Utah, but has had to renounce his religion. He's going to talk to each of the Mormon players in the program and tell them to go to BYU. We never wanted them anyway.
4) Steve Cleveland has accepted the Head Coaching position at Fresno ST. All that has to happen is for Tarkanian to resign and announce his appointment as head bookie at the Mirage. Lyday will transfer with him, and Wesley will be soon suspended for undisclosed honor code violations.
5) Jason Kapono, Casey Jacobsen, and Chris Duhon are all about to announce they are transferring to Utah. Now that Majerus is gone, they can come to the school they always wanted, but without the swearing. Ridnour wants to come, but Juddy won't move the school to the northwest
6) Danny Ainge WILL accept the head coaching position at BYU and appoint his wife and son Austin as assistants so he can be close to his family AND be able to coach.
7) The frequent poster New York is actually Bill Marcroft, check it, Paul James (apologies in advance)
8) The Clippers are going to select Jeremy Killion with their first pick in the draft, because he's from southern california and to quote Elgin Baylor "he might actually stay with the team"
9) Bret Engemann will transfer from BYU to Utah because he believes that McBride more closely resembles Larry King than Lavell does.
10) Keith Van Horn, Andre Miller, Michael Doleac all demand to be traded to the Jazz, to be joined by 1st round draft pick Alex Jensen. Bookies are already placing them as the favorites for next year's NBA title as long as Kentucky/Boston remains in the east
These rumors are straight from my home teachers to you.
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